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Poisonous Kiss

I want to lose myself inside your poisonous kiss
Yours is a poison that can never miss
I want your kiss to take over the blood in my veins
So i can see if i can handle your games

Don't be naive and believe this is just fun
I want all the extras when your done
Hold me down and make sure you keep me close
Kiss me again and administer the next dose

Infect my hole body and let it deteriorate
I want it to take over so much that i brake
Let it become the addiction of my life
And make me take more of it every night
It's the kind of suffering i'm able to like
Because you poison me with it just right

I want to lose myself inside your poisonous kiss
Want to feel your ultermate painfull bliss
So kiss your gun and just shoot me repeatedly
Worship the invisable blood that i bleed

Let the sickness knock me right out cold
Give poison and my soul is sold
Touch me again and you'll make me scream
I'm starting to like this midnight dream

Infect my hole body and let it deteriorate
I want it to take over so much that i brake
Let it become the addiction of my life
And make me take more of it every night
It's the kind of suffering i'm able to like
Because you poison me with it just right

I want to lse myself inside your poisonous kiss
(lose myself inside your posionous kiss)
In ever want you or me to let go of this
(Let go of this)
Brace yourself because i'm falling faster
(Falling faster)
Use your poisonous kiss and become my master
(Become my master)

Infect my hole body and let it deteriorate
I want it to take over so much that i brake
Let it become the addiction of my life
And make me take more of it every night
It's the kind of suffering i'm able to like
Because you poison me with it just right

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    January 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    O' my yes...what a picture you have penned...take and give and become one flow...sighs...thank you so much for entering


  • whiterabbit.
    December 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is really great. I like all of the passion that is visible in it and the fact that it's not vulgar. Thanks for entering


  • Melissa Burns
    November 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering my contest! I hope that you had as much fun entering as I am reading all the great writes so far!


  • 2lullabyhaven
    October 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This screams a sort of passion, to some degree, thanks for entering my contest with it.lol

  • Angel Eyed Baby
    September 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I like this. Good luck in my contest.


  • Ladybug
    August 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    luscious and delicious in every form

    Tamara


  • PaiigeBARBIE
    August 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is beautiful!
    since i cant describe how much i love it, how about this...
    &&finalist!
    ♥thank you baby doll


  • Intravenous Jesus
    August 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Nice work Lady Nightshade. A few spelling errors, but an exceptional write!

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    July 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your wonderful and deeply interpreted entry, Josephine


  • Sai Babas Lotus
    July 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful! Love the imagery, the intense emotion, the feelings this poem brings up in my heart...of kissing and being kissed. Keep it going! Spread the magic of kissing around :-)

    Charishma

  • LaurenLightning--x
    July 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful!
    I love it :

    Hold me down and make sure you keep me close
    Kiss me again and administer the next dose

    Amazing lines :]

    Thank you for entering and good luck!!


  • Moonlight Raven
    June 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I’ve always been a sucker for internal rhyme but you have forced a few of the lines, then they stopped totally, which sort of spoiled the flow. I noticed a few typos that a quick re-read will correct. The repetition goes well within the poem, but I personally would have ended the poem on a single stanza not a repeated one. As it added a personal touch to the reader, keeping them heightened to the arousal of your words.
    Overall this is a good poem a few tweaks and it could be made better. I would also take a look at your rhyme as some sway off and some seemed forced, your use of consonance various other poetical devises highlight the strength of the poem though well done. Thank you for entering the 2007 raven contest, I wish you the very best of luck
    Moonlight raven


  • Emerald Dreams
    May 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome write. One thing just watch the spelling. Otherwise the piece was great. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck.

    Emerald Fire


  • insecure princess
    May 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wonderful

    this is a wonderful piece.
    you have an amazing way with your words.
    thank you for entering my contest & good luck
    ♥ jade =]


  • Sunday Rain
    April 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    ok

    Only 2 prob's 1. no bg,
    and 2. you just need to work on your spelling, alright.
    Good job,
    I liked the way that you wrote this,

  • Sunday Rain
    April 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Hey,

    You need a bg, without it, then...
    Just add a bg,


  • Trixie08
    April 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Great Piece!

    "I want to lse myself inside your poisonous kiss" I love how this one line repeats through out the entire piece it's haunting and gives it a certain depth about the piece. I agree that love is a addiction and so is lust it's just beautiful all around. Great Write and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

1 - 17 of 17