Clear mind, clear soul, clear every thought,
Eveready to help, no matter circumstances are what.
With a genuine smile and an exceptionally concerned look,
She can really make my anxieties disappear in some nook.
I am really comfortable when I am with her,
If she has promised something, she wouldn't stir.
Though candid and outgoing, she’s emotional and sensitive too,
And she can truly weave me amidst her innermost thoughts anew.
Her voice makes me happy; her sight brightens up my day,
Her thoughts inspire me delightfully as I move along my way.
She assures, she relieves; she smiles, she believes,
She does all to comfort me, but never ever deceives.
She is a friend one in a million, really hard to find,
Polite, lively, truthful, honest, simple, mature and kind.
Feeling lucky to have such a wonderful friend,
I am on seventh heaven, and a "Thanks" to God I must send!!!
Author notes
For my Best Friend, Ayona
Option 1
By Madhumita
A contest entry
- Rounds contest (first round) by star wars fanatic.
450 points, ended April 22, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - emo options by R.J.Valentine.
450 points, ended May 19, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - bffl?? tell me all about your best friend! by DelaneyDisaster.
400 points, ended July 10, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Another Anything At All Contest by Poetic Rage.
375 points, ended August 15, 2007, 132 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I want some genuine comments!
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Very nicely done. I like this tribute to your friend. You both sound like good people.You have a great bond. Hold on to it. Good luck in the contest.Take care.
Tali -
Thanks
Thank you for your entry into my contest. I will return when the contest is over to give you my thoughts.
Tali -
thank you for entering and good luck in my contest.
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nice
I like the sweet thoughtfullness that I get from this poem. It is very caring and tender and the flow isn't bad, either! *finalist* -
This is a very sweet dedicated poem to a sensational friend. I too have a friend that brings out the best in me. The best thing you can do, is to let your friend know this is how you feel about her. That you're really glad she's part of your life.
Well done and a beautiful dedication. Keep up the great writing. -
very nice and completely heartfelt. good going with this one. A great friend you are. thank you for sharing. I liked it. peace and light, kendal
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Sweet
Aww I reallly like the length of the lines and the length of the peom it works weel. It is lovely you really know how you feel about her and it makes you connect with a friend you have like that too. It is a lovely happy piece well done XX -
I am touched dear......its awesome.
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All in all, I think it was a sweet dedication. It was simple, yet some of the words didn't seem necessary such as "never .ever." or "she can weave me, .true." The rhyming meter was stretched a little here and there, but you describe her well. Next time I'd like to see more demonstration of her nature instead of just listing "polite, lively..." etc. Keep writing!
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some nuances
some of this was worded funny. i understand what you were talking about because of the author's note, but the wording was choppy and distracted from the piece. without the note at the bottom, i would have thought the this was a new cure-all on the market for a person with depression. the reason i thought the poem would have been a cure all was because ads go like "clear skin clear pores.."
it confuses me, because in the poem- there is a lot of "you" and "your" and maybe it should have the author of the poem's name in it, because it is for ayona and no one else. it is ayonga being there for the author of this poem? because it is the author who is comfortable with her and not the reader of the poem, since it is the author who knows her best
i would like more "i" messages and i would like it if the poem was more personal. please see my poem for what i mean by more personal: http://allpoetry.com/poem/2850872 -
wnderful!
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kuch detailed comment nahi kar sakti?
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