You are my arch rival
My nemisis in battle
Raging thoughts against me
Arousing fear within me
With every step a new challenge
A newer pain within me
Coursing within my body
Flowing through my veins
My blood,
your blood,
Our blood
Tainted with poisons and
battles they're the same
Fear is found within my eyes
When you whisper in my ears
The false promises and lies
You and I are too much alike
Like the snake in the Garden of Eden
you are at Satan's demise
Adam, foolish Adam
who within crimson temptation
followed the taste of a woman
And fell into her deception
Now she hates you
Every intricate detail
Your face; enough to make any stomach curdle
Brothers and kin
Best of friends
Torn between a split relationship
a feeling of being schitzophrenic
What a foolish way to end it
Author notes
this was inspired by my friend adam who i actually am good friends with but with lately we have been growing sick of each other more and more. The concept behind this and the irony is that his name is Adam hence the whole adam & eve thing.
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Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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A well paced verse with lots of running emotion and imagery
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Interesting piece to be certain, nice flow to it. I had a hard time reading it through the background, tho it is a good one. I suggest a wuick spellcheck as well, Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors.
Hetohke'e 
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i would seriously recommend changing the color of the letters or the background because i couldn't read one word until i highlighted the entire poem. anyway, good piece. good reflection on what you're feeling.
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from what I could read, it was okay...
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This poem is interesting. It makes me think of my own relationships.....wich isnt exactly fun but hey. Your poem is intriging and it fits well with your subject of adam and eve as well as being significant to you. Hope your situation with this adam works out!
Jess
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It's good...
i like it...
It's a nice read...
You can definitly read the emotion in it.
Nice write** -
the poem
Borderline
You are my arch rival
My nemisis in battle
Raging thoughts against me
Arousing fear within me
With every step a new challenge
A newer pain within me
Coursing within my body
Flowing through my veins
My blood,
your blood,
Our blood
Tainted with poisons and
battles they're the same
Fear is found within my eyes
When you whisper in my ears
The false promises and lies
You and I are too much alike
Like the snake in the Garden of Eden
you are at Satan's demise
Adam, foolish Adam
who within crimson temptation
followed the taste of a woman
And fell into her deception
Now she hates you
Every intricate detail
Your face; enough to make any stomach curdle
Brothers and kin
Best of friends
Torn between a split relationship
a feeling of being schitzophrenic
What a foolish way to end it -
maybe you could message me your poem, i cant read it clearly with the background you chose and the colour of font
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this is really good i like it
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its good i like the background
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the poem is really well written. i love how u used the Adam and Eve history to show something in your life. like you said in your notes, ironic. i like it. the background makes it really hard to read tho so you may want to revise your font color
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even though i'm not really that fond of religion and whatever. i love how you took something biblical and applied it to a modern day problem of two friends growing apart. you are a talented writer
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wow.
stunning imagery.
this is really good.
great job hunni! -
I really like this,well done.
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very good and i like the biblical allusion..also the background is very beautiful even though i am 13 i still appreciate good art...not like others in my age group
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i like that its your friend youre talking about. most tend to overlook the subtle conflicts that arise when you are good friends with someone in favor of the brighter aspects. happiness is nothing without sadness, just as friendship is nothing without conflict. its all about balance. a wonderfully honest write
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