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Gently I Go

Missing image

 

 

 

 

Gently I Go    

 

 

 

Gently I go

conceding a defeat I have never known before

like the robin to nest, the star to sky, the quill

to the words painted on the pages of my soul

                                                    I like best 

Gently I leave

not looking back over my shoulder; head and eyes cast down

watching the forward motion of departing steps

like precognitive dreams, or the sting of impending tears,

or the pain of thunderous beats from a breaking heart

                                                      ripping at the seams 

Gently I die

like the stars that race across the sky; unknowing of their fate

content to leave a spectral streak, a glorious show, a shimmering trail

like vespers, like spoken words or broken promises, like drying tears

like so many a death, so beautiful in their agony; mourners shall mourn

                                                  in a final        gasping         breath 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Age of Rain
    October 2, 2008
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    This is very cool. Soft, with a play of repetition. I like this quite a bit. A lovely write.


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    October 2, 2008

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    This is very sad!!! You did an amazing job writing this!! You gave great details and descriptions!!! I can feel the pain and emotion behind this!! You have a good flow!! Very well written!!

  • tiltedhalos
    October 2, 2008

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    The title drew me in and the lines kept me.I felt kind of dreamy and sad after reading this. I enjoyed the comparison in the third stanza "like drying tears". I have read it three times now and I wouldn't change anything in this poem.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    October 1, 2008

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    You've managed to make the sad seem so beautiful here. This is a wonderful write!!



  • Re-invention silver member
    September 30, 2008

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    wow.. nice ending.. I enjoyed this to the maximum... beauty and sadness and amazing comparison here... nicely done!


  • motel silver member
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    such beauty ... the constant process of surrender which gives life its richness and beauty. the images are so tender and delicate ... petals dropping from a gorgeous flower.
    wonderful.
    thanks, as always, & bookmarked.


  • voodoo ink Greeters member
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Presents such sadness, but a mere glimpse of recovery, from the pain...Nicely written, poet...


  • alreadygone2009
    September 30, 2008
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    "or the pain of thunderous beats from a breaking heart ripping at the seams"
    Uhh. Such terrible emotion. I know this. You can't breathe because the tears are choking more than your throat. Everything from your lungs to your movement to your thoughts. How wretched.
    But such a beautiful poem.

    *HS*


  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    June 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    so beautiful even in all the sadness...
    brilliant and stunning write as always.

    Tasha


  • Menace
    May 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful and I absolutely love the very essence of your format. It catches your eye in simplicity and swoons your spirit with metaphors. This was like the smell after a thuderstorm tracing across my lips as I read. Thank you for that.


  • Cookie Meow Meow
    March 26, 2008

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    beautiful

    i love this it is so good. this is wonderful work. keep this up. i hope you and your friend keep up the good work. if her poems are anthing like this they would be execellent in my opinion.


  • PerfectImperfection
    September 21, 2007

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    This piece touched me in such an incredible way... So beautiful in its pain, its sadness. My own heart weeps for words to embrace such a tear. Amazing as always love!!!


    • SerenityNChains gold member
      September 21, 2007

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      I like penning darkness sometimes, need to at others, this was a combination I think. Thank yoou for the ever kind words my sister.

      Blessed be,
      Billie Jean

  • celadia
    September 17, 2007

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    Beautiful

    I felt like this was meant to be performed on a stage instead of read from a book. It was beautiful. I didn't read where you were from, but in Canada they have Art Bars where poets get on stage and read their poem, but its not like in the old days, they jump and sing a bit and put a lot of attitude in their work. I really think this beautiful piece would work well in that environment.

    • SerenityNChains gold member
      September 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I am in the States, but yes we have poetry cafes and open mic nights. I have performed at a few in preparation for my book release. Thank you for the lovely comment. I am so glad you enjoyed it. If you like spoken verse look on my page. I have links for a poet called Scroobius Pip from the UK, or dan Le Sac as he is known. I like him a lot. thanks again.

      Blessed be,

      Billie Jean


  • Lauren Noir
    May 27, 2007

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    This was incredibly beautiful
    I loved the "gently" theme
    It was so clever to take harsh and brutal things and give them a softness
    It was wonderful
    I loved the picture, it captured the poem
    And somehow a purple background fitted nicely
    Well done

    • SerenityNChains gold member
      May 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Sometimes the harshest things in life can posess the most beauty. Like dead butterflies pinned to a canvas. Thank you for such charming words. I am humbled.

      Blessed be,
      Billie Jean


  • Nicolette gold member
    April 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    So much sadness here, Billie Jean...reminds me of things that I too have written about, as well as the lines from a poem "tonight I'll cut out my heart; in the morning it will grow again". I wish you stars - not the cold and sad ones, but light and warmth... Beautiful this is in its sadness and grief

    ~ Nicolette


  • Poems-from-my-heart
    April 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thats passionite.
    keep writing, good job.
    =]

1 - 19 of 19