With these souls that I have bought
I intend to sell my souls for the freedom
That I feel here with you
With this desperation
I need sedation
I am desolate, desolate
I am no cure for these ills
No reason for these wills
But I still make the kill
I am desolate, desolate
No formality
Lacking morality
If you knew the truth
You'd know I lied the truth
Is there is no moral boundary
But just a blur
Where we were
With these souls that I have bought
I intend to sell my souls for the freedom
That I feel here with you
With this indentation
I lose my elation
I am desolate, desolate
The picture on my wall is a fake
And the safe it's covering is empty
You can take me if don't forsake me
I am desolate, desolate
And in this sea of blood
I fear the coming flood
'Cause in this sea of blood
There is no life remaining
With the soldiers I have slain
I remind myself of the pain
The pain of inhibition, of indecision
The pain we're destined to see, we're destined to be
I am desolate, desolate
With these souls that I have bought
I intend to sell my souls for the freedom
That I feel here with you
With this desperation
I need sedation
With this indentation
I lose my elation
I am no cure for these ills
No reason for these wills
But I still make the kill
The picture on my wall is a fake
And the safe it's covering is empty
You can take me if don't forsake me
I am desolate, desolate
I am desolate, desolate
I am desolate, desolate
I am desolate, desolate
And in this sea of blood
I fear the coming flood
'Cause in this sea of blood
There is no life remaining
With the soldiers I have slain
I remind myself of the pain
The pain of inhibition, of indecision
The pain we're destined to see, we're destined to be
I am desolate, desolate
Here in seclusion I lose my mind
Here in delusion I am blind
Here is the illusion of what could have been
Here is delusion; they are blind to the screen
And in this sea of blood
I fear the coming flood
'Cause in this sea of blood
There is no life remaining
And in this sea of blood
I fear the coming flood
'Cause in this sea of blood
There is no life remaining
The pain on my face is real
But you wouldn't see it from where you stand
The rain in this place is fear
But wouldn't know that from where you stand
You haven't got a clue of what we have to do
Haven't you seen enough of what humanity can do?
You must be so happy to be sending so many men to their deaths
This is way too much slaughter for one reign of terror
I am desolate, desolate
The pain on my face is real
I am desolate, desolate
My desolation comes from what I've seen
I am desolate, desolate
Haven't we seen enough good men die?
I am desolate, desolate
I am desolate, desolate
When will it be enough? Will you ever be satisfied by the burning of our eyes?
Burning my eyes with these images I've seen
The heat of this battle is worse than on the screen
Burning my eyes with this loss of morality
In the midst of a disaster we're still found conflicted
And to this disaster humanity is addicted
And to her brother, amity, she wishes prosperity
And it's her sister pain that she seeks to contain
In this sea of blood
I fear the coming flood
In this sea of blood
There is no life remaining
And this sea of blood
Is what we left in our wake
In this sea of blood
The picture's still a fake
Author notes
Rise Against - Prayer of the Refugee
A contest entry
- Anything Goes by Whyitt U.
4200 points, ended April 24, 2007, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write a Song! by Natelystious.
450 points, ended May 10, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Battle Front by ArmyRangerAngel.
300 points, ended May 4, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Two Options by IndividualEleven. by IndividualEleven.
850 points, ended May 13, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - Culture: Religion, Society and Politics by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Not satisfied with an honorable mention? by SilverInk.
600 points, ended February 21, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Oh, as I was reading this I was thinking : huh this sounds like it could be a song. Then I realized it was lyrics, haha. Anyways, this isn't bad. I had a few issues with some of the lines though like "You'd know I lied the truth". That doesn't really make sense, even using a poetic license...it's kind of a stretch. Overall it's not bad though, so don't get discouraged! Good luck!
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"You'd know I lied the truth
Is there is no moral boundary"
It follows on, having no full stops or commas, I felt it safe to do this...
"You'd know I lied, the truth is there is no moral boundary" -
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oooh I completely read it like it was written, like this "You'd know I lied the truth. Is there no moral boundary?" maybe I shouldn't have added the question mark, haha, ok I get it.
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Not a simple read it has many symbols and meaning behind them. Which builds on the imagery create my your power of rhythm. The repeating phrase brings the point home to the reader. Very complex in word and style. Very strong message with out telling the reader how and what to feel.It does impact the reader rather boldly. It carries forth a message to all that reads this write. There are no winners in war. Even if a side wins they still lost the lives of there fellow brothers or sisters or any family to a war. Both sides lose. Very well wrote. I must tell you the use of your symbols and meaning was a stroke of brilliant thinking on your part.
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nice write, great imagery and vocabulary, liked this stanza here
Burning my eyes with these images I've seen
The heat of this battle is worse than on the screen
Burning my eyes with this loss of morality
In the midst of a disaster we're still found conflicted
And to this disaster humanity is addicted
And to her brother, amity, she wishes prosperity
And it's her sister pain that she seeks to contain
thanks for entering, you rhyme very well - Jacen an IndividualEleven. -
Great lyrics I would love to hear them to music. lol thank you for entering
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Wow...this is pretty amazing...It really has a wonderflow and beat to it...I think I was almost singing it as I read it....And the message is very powerful, one I'm sure a lot of Americans can relate to, and agree with. Excellent Write!!!
Whyitt U
xxx
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well written...the imagery and the thoughts are well put together.
With these souls that I have bought
I intend to sell my souls for the freedom
quite a out-of-the-usual poem...the randomness in the form and in the rhythm do naught to affect the power of the poem. yet some editing regarding the length of the poem might help, for the poem appears to be stretched slightly.
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Reply:-
The randomness just helps to enforce the meaning of the poem/song. Though much of it might be missed.
The initial verse "With these souls...here with you" was meant to be slightly cryptic.
"Souls that I have bought" is meant to be similar to "People I have killed".
And the person referred to as "you" is meant to be George Bush.
The first verse meaning that "with the people I have killed I intend to buy my way out of this war (metaphorically) and sit in the same safety that you (Bush) are in."
"The picture on my wall is a fake and the safe it's covering is empty" is meant to be a tribute to false media, "what you see of what's happening here is a lie, and what we see is hopeless".
I wrote this song to send a message, "from a soldier to the commander-in-chief", and as you've probably guessed it's about Iraq.
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