The girl cries with no one to hear,
trying to ease the piercing pain.
In her life, one thing is clear,
the girl cries with no one to hear.
Dances and dreams she holds so dear.
Early memories, her soul is slain.
The girl cries with no one to hear,
trying to ease the piercing pain.
The boy screams to no one at all,
denying fears of a shattered heart.
He tried not to let his self fall,
The boy screams to no one at all.
Full of anger and pride, standing tall,
fearing his soul is tearing apart.
The boy screams to no one at all,
denying fears of a shattered heart.
A contest entry
- A Macandrew Triolet contest by macandrew.
375 points, ended April 18, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Have You Blessed Me With a Gold??? ENTER HERE! by Paloszoo.
1200 points, ended July 2, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Wow, fantastic form portraying such a sad issue in today's abusive society. I really like it, but for this contest you needed to enter a gold winning poem
Thanks for entering my contest and showing your work here. It's an honor to read it 
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This is such a realistically and bitterly sad poem. For me, the image you created in my mind was of a boy and girl standing back to back as they screamed and shouted their pain to eachother and the world, yet no one could hear!!
So melancholy, so sad, yet so beautifully written.
Thank you.
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Thank you very much. This form is the Triolet and is one of my favorite forms of poetry. I am so proud that was the image that you got because it was very very similiar to the one that was in my head as I was writing it! Thank you for visiting, reading and commenting.
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sad
Sad, a lot of repeation but it bring the peom together. Its a sad poem, it makes me think of how many people really feel this way. Its a good reason that people can write and let their feeling out this way....I guess you can say its a lot more safer. -
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The repetition part of the triolet. That is just the way that it is!
Thank you for stopping by to read my poem, it was my honor~~
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This was certainly the strongest emotional poem in the group. Good triolets and well written.
thanks for entering.
John
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I really enjoyed this. My favorite line is "Early memories, her soul is slain." It stood out. I hope to read more of your work.
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this is just beautiful -so tender and filled with empathy. It 's really nice. And unfortunately, true for some people from the time they are born all the way to the grave, and then on top of it, they get blamed for it. Very well done.
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Nicely done
A lovely Triolet. Well executed and filled with emotion. You pulled the two pieces together beautifully. Truly a pleasure to read and enjoy. ~Pamela
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Awesome write! I think the triolet lends to your thought process. It makes you come around to the emotion at hand and restates it in a powerful way. Keep up the great writing.
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Beautifully done! I enjoyed your effort and am in awe of your talent. Good Job. Write on, poet. I hate the fact that people are in pain, but I love the fact that one can write of that pain and make us feel the angst.
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Wow, this is an excellent piece of writing. You really made me feel what those described felt, it was beautiful and painful at the same time. I really liked the last few lines on the boy ( "Full of anger and pride...fearing his soul is tearing apart"), not only was it very poetic and beautiful, but I can empathize, which made it even better! Good job!
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Beautifully written. A lovely triolet and on a topic very near to my heart.
Well done and good luck.
Talia
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AMAZING!!! this is a very deeply written poem. it really touches on the emotions...not touches, grabs hold and yanks hard! to connect with a reader is a true talent. i love what you wrote as well as how it makes one feel. keep writing dear friend. od bless you always
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Wow.
Good Job! This is an amazing piece of work. Really sad but beautiful at the same time. Keep it up! -
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Thanks
Thank you very much for the great comment
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wow
A tormented triolet well done .. I feel for both the girl and boy in this lovely triolet .. thank you
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