He couldn't stand
the reflection
it took every ounce of energy
He did not know
what he could do
He did not know
what he would accomplish
He just looked desperately
at his image on the wall
and wondered
"what have I become?"
Seeing no good left,
he took it all,
his ultimate gift,
the precious stamp
he put upon
her early life...
now he knows
and he let his daughter know
with one quick pull of the trigger,
one selfish act,
that lets her know forever
that you do get let down,
you do get left,
and you can't count on anyone
daddy let her know,
too damn early
A contest entry
- Titles For Everyone!!! by AllYoullNeverHave.
450 points, ended April 13, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 5 Options...enter...now...or suffer! {Prewrites now allowed!} by vampireblood.
430 points, ended April 30, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This was a very powerful piece. I liked it. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
~~~Vampy~~~ -
powerful
Glad to see you posting again. I found this to be a very moving and powerful piece.
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oh goodness! i think im gonna cry! i had the biggest chills ever!
this is ama-za-zing
and absolutely touching! your ending is rockin too! awesome job! good luck in the contest!!!!
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Wow! Very good poem you wrote here. Very tragic though. But very well written. It's a shame how people are so selfish at times. And it is sad to be let down like that. Good job. Thanks for entering. Good luck.
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this is soooo sad! i think it is very beautifull tho
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wow...
wow this is so amazing....but so sad. to be let down like that, i can't even imange...this is a really amazing poem. -
Ohmigosh, that was so sad, but you wrote it brilliantly.
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Oh this is sad... so true, but so shameful.. you are an amazing writer, so honest it's almost brutal.. great job!
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