How did I know,
How far was I willing to go?
I took the time,
And stayed behind.
I listen to you tell me,
All about the open key,
How he stole your heart,
And took it an tore it apart.
I drew you a sign,
It was well known and made the line,
Helped you understand,
He wasn't your type of man.
Now you take the classes,
You put down the glasses,
Of unwanted drink,
We all knew you were on the brink.
I share your pain,
You share your name,
We both take the child.
This will be a roller coaster wild,
Together I'll help you,
And you help me.
We will be.
A Family.
A contest entry
- How to Save a Life by Viva La Vie Boheme.
600 points, ended April 18, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - a VERY easy 300 points make me laugh or even just warm my heart by Saosin.
300 points, ended November 2, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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wow i love it thanks for entering my contest
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i like ur poem as well it actully relates to what i've been threw. i like it alot
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aww this is freakin awesome i love it it just ooo its so sweet i love this poem
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Great style of writing and you know, I actually really, really liked this. Generally, rhyme isn't my thing, but I enjoyed this SO much!
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I really enjoed this poem, and plus I want the points for writing comments :-P ;-) lol just kidding, besides you never reply to my messages or play along when I'm being stupid, so this is me demanding random funny messages and comments from you. yes! demanding. and I want them as soon as possible. A-sap if you will, becuase you're funny and you make me laugh,.... well most of the time I'm laughign at you... like when you fall or molest my boyfriend while he's molesting Joey's Caved in chest....and his big boobs... but anyway, I'm done now, becuase you've already read this anyway. goodnight :-*
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Wow! you're realy good. I can feel the emotin in ths peice, it makes me want to cry
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wow i love this poem it has a lot of emotion and it really showed a clear message of love over someone and a willingness to help that person. i think and i might be wrong so please correct me but is the child the persons that broke her heart. because if it is then i think it adds a new dimension to the poem and made it so much better. but it may just be me.
i love the way you have rhymed it and the flow is excellent I particularly like the last stanza. if you don't mind i can make one suggestion to improve the work and that is instead of ending with Family put a A in front so it reads
Together I'll help you,
And you help me.
We will be.
A Family.
i think that it improves the flow. but it was a brilliant poem anyway, thankyou for sharing such a piece of art.
Keep writing
Kelbornro
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Yeah I agree
The poem was actully written from a father leaving the mother with a child and no home. Then some other male steps up and takes the name of the mother and helps with raising the family. You are right I do like the flow for the last stynza. I'm changing it now. Thanks for the comment and stopping by.
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