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bed of ice



Bed of Ice

Bed of ice
Bereft of affection.

Arms not used
But kept by her side

Gone is the expectation,
Of love returned.

Fear of rejection
Keep her arms side-bound.

Eye contact missing
Gone is the excitement..

Of drowning                                                                                                                                              in her beloved's eyes

sl



Sylvia Lukeman
Poets Who Care
Words can help

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1 - 9 of 9

  • Street Spirit
    April 13, 2007

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    Sweet

    I really liked this, it had a very sweet and sad feel, but it wasn't corny or cliche. It actually affected me as the reader. The one thing that does kind of bother me, but isn't serious is how you have "bed of ice" At the top under the title, but before the first lines start. It's just an issue of mine. This has always bothered me.

    Over all, i think it was a great write, and very moving for one with so little lines. I really liked it.


  • Cherrylv
    April 13, 2007

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    beautifully sad

    I so liked this poem.

    each line seems to compliment the feeling of lonliness being short as if talking in short bursts due to the cold, no warmth exists there now. Keeping your arms by your side adds to lonliness there is no one to reach out to gather warmth from. The final part is so beautifully sad having no beloved there.

    I can soooo relate to these feelings.
    I felt so like this when my husband left me.

    Very well written

    Hugs

    Jill/Cherry xxx


  • Saosin
    April 12, 2007
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    ohhh this is a great poem it has very unusual descriptions but it makes it even more interesting


  • MissAnonymous
    April 12, 2007
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    I could really relate to this going through a break up. I think you described it perfectly!


  • love my jose luis
    April 12, 2007

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    I love this poem because I can relate to it very well. Keep up your great writing. I think that you are a wonderful writer.
    ~Alix

    • Rhygirl60 silver member
      April 12, 2007
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      re bed of ice

      Thank you for your generous comment I look forward to reading some of your poetry
      Rhygirl


  • badddgirl
    April 11, 2007
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    Aw, the pain that comes with love...

    I am in a pretty lonely relationship at this moment and sometimes I feel as if I am crazy for feeling afraid of being rejected by the man I have loved for the last 4 years.
    But after reading this I feel as if others can relate and I am not crazy.
    Thanks friend!


  • catz Moderators member
    April 11, 2007

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    Dear Sylvie, this is written so sadly. Where does the affection go after many years of togetherness, leaving only coldness and non-communication in its place.
    It takes only one of them to speak, to say those magic words which cross that seemingly insurmountable abyss which divides two people.

    Good job with this piece, my friend. Very sensitive and emotional.

    love and
    Dee


  • Bas
    April 11, 2007

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    it seems cold its future is untold i wonder what you are going through , i can see it in your eyes i can imagine the way it lies , a void unseen love is untrue to you which can make you blue , so should you go on or see it through

1 - 9 of 9