Upon a Stairway Landing
Ahh, breath -
my soul-filled breath
escapes in a measured, hollowed
sigh, heaved aloud,
very nearly out of wind,
upon a stairway landing.
Just to rest a spell
I look back
down this unrelenting stack
now up, to how far up
I, yet, must go.
Another breath, and so
continue on, step on step,
my long slow climb out
of hell.
~r.
All rights reserved,
© April, 2006 R. Braley
(astralshepherd)
Author notes
A small pause on my way toward healing.
In a list
Let me know how this impacts you.
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
-
We all need those landings to take a little rest from time to time Richard. Good job my friend. Take care and Have fun. Steve
-
My lungs are heaving for you
I like the flow and rhythm. Halting, breathless, tired. Great positioning of your words. Well done!
. Rewarded 4
-
Wow, this is beautifully written! It shows a sense of hope and determination. It's exactly the what a lot of people need to hear. So many of us are on that staircase slowing making our way back up into the world. Well that is waht I get from reading this atleast, I am sure that others will find there own meanings of it. But again beautiful work!
. Rewarded 6
-
Hmmm, is this an allusion to getting out of hard times in life? Or redeeming oneself to the level of Earth? Either way this was very lovely, well written as usuall.
. Rewarded 4
-
I would also like to comment that you could change the last stanza to be asymmetrical couplet. As in, after "and so" you could break the line (as you have) and condense the last three lines into one long one. This would aesthetically symbolize the languorous stretch it is to pull yourself above; "of hell."
Just an opinion. -
Aside the pretentious opening of "soul-filled" breath, the format was refreshing and relative.
The short and sharp punctuation reflects the physical environs of the poems context and contemplative innuendo of quickened breathing, to much addition of the emotion expressed.
But the overall I find a little superficial. There wasn't any remarkable imagery to fill my head and it was very concrete in the reading. If that is a problem then adding other references to different emotions and possibly the relation the persona had to the physical environment in the poem, rather then just the emotional effects undergone.
Kudos on the structure. The structure alone was enticing enough for repetitive readings but the content wasn't up to the mark set my the format. -
This is beautiful and oh how I can relate to that long uphill climb in the process of healing. Very nice write..Patty
. Rewarded 4
-
-
thank you for your comment and the generosity of your appluase, i truly do appreciate both. we need to take 'breathers' now and then or we'll never make it out of the abyss.
blessings,
~r.
-
-
Great poem very metiphorical.. enjoyd..
-
Great Piece!
I can really relate-you should see some of my poetry. It is a long, seemingly endless climb the healing process is. I like step by step, breathe at a time needing to pause then carry on. It reminds me of a famous quote, I forget the author: What I loved about the saints was that they were human. They lost their tempers at times, even scolded God. But they still doggedly trudge on towards heaven.
. Rewarded 8
-
first off, although it isn't the text of your poem, i really like that picture. it's beautiful. second of all, i reaaaaaally like your poem, it's also beautiful. your rhythm in your poem feels like ascending a stairwell & your poem is simplistic & lovely. this is very nice work & i enjoyed the read immensely.
-
Wonderful...I felt a bit out of breath with you here....I know this feeling so very..very well! A great verse! A journey of heling....one step at a time. Brillient write!
Blessings~
Az
. Rewarded 4
-
Life is often like taking those long winding steps up, up, up. We seem to lose our breath on the way, but never stop breathing. We stop to rest, but never give up. A powerful write.
Kelli -
....like one line in a long story.
-----
-
I am so glad I read this one first it gave me great insight into the person who read and commented on my pomes. Thank you so much for the reads and the thoughts on my poems. I am very impressed with this one and can not wait to read the others.
Sunny
-
This gave me a mental image and a song in my head..."We are climbing Jacob's Ladder"...I am constantly surprised (though after reading you so long I shouldn't be) at how walking through your poems makes me feel blessed...some small grace touches me, even in the painful ones as this one here...I think your writing helps me to know I am not alone...great comforting words...since we all have our own personal hells to climb out from...Peace Richard...Rhonda
-
I have trudged up these very stairs many times but sometimes find myself back down there in the core of the Earth , screaming for the 'breath" to climb back out. There is a sense of renewal in this work my dear Richard. Oft times we make it up those stairs never knowing how. The extended hand of the Lord is my answer. He pulls me out of the mire again, and again. What a poignant work of word-art and skill exudes from this poetry. Brilliantly written where each one who reads can easily relate. LOVED THIS!
Much Love ♥
Renee
-
Very Good!
I really thought this was a FANTASTIC read! Because it could mean anything. Any obstacle in life - or even death,or life, alone. Love it! Geoff (beaner81) -
Oh wow. oh WOW once again your words take you on a ride of rythmn as we explore the healing proces with you. Bravo friend once again you amazed me.
Vsutton
-
Inspirational
This one is very good. Im going through physical therapy right now because of a bad back, (Ive had 3 surgeries so far and am trying to avoid another) and this is how I feel everyday. But taking it one step at a time as your poem says makes all the difference. This poem holds true for every aspect of life. Great write
Suzanne
-
LoL like your poem it is cool! Love the last two lines best. Good read. Glad you took a small pause on your way toward healing. Here a clapping thing for your effort...lol
. Rewarded 4
-
Inspiring!
Very well done! It is sometimes a long, upward climb to reach your goal, for healing of any kind. I'm reminded of the song by Elvis Presley, "Lord, This time You gave me a mountain..a mountain that I may never climb."
May you have the strength and endurance needed to reach your goal!
Maureen
-
What a beautiful metaphor. This poem speaks volumes to me, truly. It was very inspirational, and so very easy to relate to. I was surprised as I read through this poem. Even the way you formatted the poem was beautiful. It was a lot said in so very few words and that takes a lot of amazing talent. You are an amazing write and I have every intention of reading more of your work. Great job. Keep it up!
-
Steps are a great metphor to use for healing , and in this case it worked well...the graphic's add to the poem, for the stairs are winding give one a feeling of never getting to the top...nice poem, I enjoyed it...good luck in healing..thanks for sharing
-
Beautiful message, Richard. Grace redeeming in hope resounding. Just loved the healing implications with its spiritual connotations. Most inspirational!
Bell
. Rewarded 4
-
Oh how I associate wuth this, lol, I notice stairs now I am getting older, or is it that I am just nit fit lol.
You really put it all in nutshell, very well written, it made me smile
Hugs
Jill/Cherry xxx
. Rewarded 4
-
you know, when i first started reading this i was expecting a sort of cutesie poem about growing old or something of the like...but then you knocked the wind out of me with the last line. I didn't even see it coming either because i read poems line by line the first time, never looking to the next to get a hint of what is to come and i never saw that coming. this poem was/is fantastic. those last two words brought me back to the day that i quit drugs cold turkey and decided to change my life... thank you for this one. i have nothing at all critical to say...this one touched me. thank you
. Rewarded 8
-
Life is a series of new beginnings...stepping, pausing, breathing, and then slowly climbing another step. I'm glad you're ascending and looking up even though there are many more steps to climb. Your poem reminded me of the lyrics of that old song "one day at a time, sweet Jesus, that's all I'm asking of You...".
You've applied the metaphor so well here, Richard... may you reach the heavens you are climbing towards.
~ Nicolette
. Rewarded 8
-
This is an amazing poem Richard, you capture so well the moments of clarity i have now and then,(when I am not so emersed in all the rubbish)this speaks so loudly i am resting looking back, see how far I have come... and onwards not sure how much more I must climb.... but the strength inside, the light the beacon that somehow has never gone out.. keeps us moving.
God bless you on your journey, may you find your peace that you so deserve.
love to you
Lisa xxx
. Rewarded 8
-
AMAZING
I feel like this a lot lately. At first when I was reading this I instantly thought of my 8:00 class at school. The elevator is broken, and I have asthma. It is living hell to have to climb 2 flights of stairs with asthma, and now I have a stress fracture on my right foot. Don't exactly know how that is going to work in the morning, but I am going to try to make it up the stairs. I know that the poem has a much deeper meaning, and I can relate to that also. That was how I felt when my brother was killed. Like I was at the bottom of a pit, and I just didn't know if I had the breath in me to make it to the top of the stairs leading out. You have beautifully penned something that I think many can relate to if they have ever experienced depression or a traumatic event. Excellently done here my friend. I hope you do make it to the top. The journey may be a long and tiring one, but it is so worth it in the end. s
becca
sorry for babbling on so much
. Rewarded 8
-
This is awesome. I love the way that you express yourself. Your word come across very clearly. Thanks for the read and keep writing.
Return the favor
. Rewarded 4
-
Healing takes a long time and the metaphor of a long, slow climb with pauses to catch ones breath is very apt.
I love the font used and the plain bg too. very well done.
. Rewarded 4
-
this reminds me of a stairway from heaven. at least, that is what the allusion seemed to be. i liked the tone of weariness in the speaker's writing. each step was laborious and it was long and tiring- somethat that is universal. the universal routine dullness of any task, or having to walk a long way. symbolically, this long way can be a commute to work, trying to get married, or a trial
-
This so reminds me of a dream I had in my teens. Remind me to tell you about it sometime. I love the photo and the words. You did a great job!
Cheryl
. Rewarded 4
-
I kind of know how this feels...I've stood on a similar landing a few times! A poem of truth. The pauses can be hard when you're hoping for that upward trend, and this conveys that feeling well.
Be well.
Adding your comment:
1 - 35 of 35
