A candle burning,
Set in a silver
Blackening holder,
Faded patterns of flowers and vines embossed on its holder.
But something is different about this flame,
It does not have the warm familiar dancing yellow glow,
The flame is cold,
Almost steady,
Burning,
A deep black flame,
Burning slowly in the dark,
Locked away in the corner room at the top of the stairs
Where no one goes.
A tortured heart
Overcome by shadows,
No warmth of love around it,
Eclipsed by the brilliance of the moon outside her window,
That is all she sees
All she thinks about,
the moon, her moon.
Not knowing the warmth the black flame wants to give her,
Seeing her there, so beautiful,
But her only looking towards the moon,
Her moon, her love.
The black flame slowly burning down,
Feeling weak, low, empty
The flame flickering,
But not fading,
It glows still for her,
Always thinking of her,
Wishing her the best where ever she is
Hidden away from her
but still burning for her,
An eternal light,
The slow steady black flame locked away in the top room,
Bound by the blackened silver vines,
Kept away from her
By its own prison,
No one knows the tortures of the black flame,
Lost in the shadows,
No one.
Author notes
Written July 15th, 2003
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
Interesting image. It reminded me of some literary masterpiece that I read in college....I can't seem to recall the name (seems sad that I can't - would like to offer it) but I especially enjoyed the black flame. The two - the woman and the flame - locked away from each other....both seemingly needing each other. The woman drawn by the moon & the flame failing, falling because it cannot reach her. A true tragedy in the making. Locked away, seems to add to the futility of it. Not that there's a door there -- at the top of the staircase -- but that the door is locked
-
very nice! a lot of images,and feeling!!!
wow, their are a lot of intense words
and images here!!! I have a seventeen year old
daugther who I bet, could really relate to this
poem!!! You did a really great job discribing
the life of a teenager! hear! They want to
feel the light and glow,and warmth from the
candle! or "life" but, for some reason,the
flame keeps going dark? for some reason!!!
Very, nice write!!! and, thank you for the comment on
my poem...
wink*
~Rena
-
Well written great poem.........I loved it... you have some wonderful talent keep up the good work and I will be looking forward to be reading more of your poetry in the future.... Thanks for the comment on my poem......Thanks for sharing Lots of love to you from Me Tabby
-
Awesome write.. very sad (and I hope I read this the way you intend it) but it painted such a sad picture of me, of a woman longing for love, and a man there silently waiting, yearning to give her that love that she keeps looking elsewhere for. I would love to know the story behind this one. Can't wait to read more of your writes, this one is very impressive.
Gypsy
-
A masterpiece. Such depth and imagery. A story between every word of every line if you care to see it sighs definately book marked on my page. Blessed be
-
wow...just wow...this is an incredible poem with a darkly touching story. The visuals were awesome, and i expessialy like the symbolism of the candle holder. This is truly one of the greather works I've read on here. Wonderful poem, I hope to see more by you up soon.
Amanda
-
Great discription...i got a visual picture while i was reading this...I feel like the Blacken flame right about now b/c of a certain event..alone, abandon..great poem.
-
1000 cheers!
Interesting, Strange feeling to it, sur-real, very dark feeling. as if storm over head. I really found this interesting.
off to read more of your stuff.
-
Very dramatic piece. Excellent write....ThePoetAmuse
-
Interesting image. It reminded me of some literary masterpiece that I read in college....I can't seem to recall the name (seems sad that I can't - would like to offer it) but I especially enjoyed the black flame. The two - the woman and the flame - locked away from each other....both seemingly needing each other. The woman drawn by the moon & the flame failing, falling because it cannot reach her. A true tragedy in the making. Locked away, seems to add to the futility of it. Not that there's a door there -- at the top of the staircase -- but that the door is locked.
Excellent write, excellent indeed. Thank you.
-
...whoa
Wow, I must agree, I am also in awe. This was an awesome piece. The black flame seems so.... I don't know how to describe it. i wish I could paint a picture. A lonely, in love black flame. ::giggles to lighten the mood::
Great Write!
With much love, and respect-
~+~+~Sasha~+~+~ -
Darkly beautiful write
Red -
Think many of us have been burned(or would that be frozen?) by that "black flame" at least a time or two...sometimes just because the flame burns deeply in the night, it can do nothing to alleviate the pain of what cannot be had...sometimes, the flame's burning only makes the pain grow deeper...
Sometimes, seems it would be better to douse the flame...and let the wax cool...
Interesting piece here...kept me interested...
"Always thinking off her"...Always thinking "of" her??
UB
-
You're more than just a black flame. Maybe if you show her some light she will follow. Maybe she looks to moon to escape the darkness, and still unknowing, you hold a torch for her in secret.
-
Wow, I am in awe. I take it you've been writing a while, and you've just arrived here? Because I refuse to believe this is only your second attempt at poetry.
This held so much powerful imagery and emotion. The recurring themes of the candle, the flame, and the moon were apt metaphors for the unrequieted love that this piece put me in mind of.
Keep it up! You're on my favourites list.
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
