She's at a cross roads.
To stay or go?
Should she bother trying when he's so far gone?
A relationship doesn’t work with only one trying.
On the inside she feels like she's dying.
She'd like to think he needs her but she knows it’s untrue.
She and him may be through.
Wrapped in his own self doubt does he know what it’s doing to her?
She want to drown herself in the sea.
The hardest choice she'll ever make is to leave or stay and seal her fate.
It’s too late to fix and yet she'll stay.
She stands conflicted in the doorway.
Her heart is pulled in so many directions.
She waits for his emotional rejection.
So she stands alone again.
To be with him or make it end?
The funeral he will attend.
As a lover and a friend.
She couldn’t save herself or him.
In the end the choice was made.
She's buried beneath a tree in the shade.
Author notes
Well I was in a pretty good mood when I wrote this so I think I did a good job at being sad...
*huggles the contest for giving me the idea*
A contest entry
- Make me feel it... by Vera Jewel.
500 points, ended April 14, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To You... My Love by pimp daddy satin.
303 points, ended April 21, 2007, 110 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Wonderfully written. The passion of the writing is perfect. The sadness of it all makes it one of the best in love.
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I can relate
She's at a cross roads.
To stay or go?
Should she bother trying when he's so far gone?
A relationship doesn’t work with only one trying.
On the inside she feel like she's dying.
These are words that I feel in my heart a lot of the time.
Well Done!
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I relate to this in two ways.
1) I'm like the guy in this, except I'm a girl and am doing this to my boyfriend.
2)I'm like the girl... struggling too much and finally leaving him, because of stuff that both sides have faulted with. The inevitable always happens I guess.
This is an excellent piece. All those famous dead poets must've come back to life and entered the contest, I can't believe you didn't win a trophy!
SLAM.
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wow. that was really really really sad. and im not just saying that. i loved the repitition of the crossroad theme. even though you only mentioned it once you mentioned doorways - and they are also like crossroads but one can only go in or out. not forward,back,this way or that way. i think over all its a wonderful poem and i wish you the best of luck in the contest. its just....one of the best poems ive read today.
by the way - i think on the line where it says :
On the inside she feel like she's dying.
you mean feels not feel.. i might be wrong though.
well again good luck in the contest
Claire-Anne -
Thank you for entering.
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PERFECT!
What I liked:
This was a wonderful piece. Absolutely nothing to correct or edit. I loved how you made every two lines rhyme with each other. Great job!
Suggestions for Improvement:
None.
Overall Impression:
You truly impressed me with this piece! I look forward to reading more of your poetry in the future.
PS: I'm a new member here, so please check out the two poems I have for now.
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