Drowsy desire to have you near me
runs through my veins
I feel the rhythm of alcoholic numb.
I got my face wretched and scratched
paining allover.
Trapped in this eternal curse
I bleed.
Day and Night.
Chaos in my head and in my mind too.
Tear up my heart, look at my eyes
Look, loser me how much pale!
Author notes
Though all entries will not think the picture to define like I did. I defined it as a turmoil of a addicted one. My Prayers to all of them who are now trying to get rid of their drugs or other chemical addictions.
Peace.
A contest entry
- 5 OPTIONS PW ALLOWED ENTER AS MANY TIMES AS YOU LIKE by InMyFlames.
375 points, ended December 23, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Thank you for your comment.
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i really like the beginning it has a nice flow to it and it's easy to follow.
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The last line is an Inversion.Thanks for your comment.
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I liked your interpretation of the picture. Very good piece.
Soulful Woman
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this is so good, I'm just a bit confused about the last line, "Look, loser me how much pale!" is it possible there is a spelling mistake?
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its really good it really has me hooked in, feeling something just one mishap u didnt mention darkness but im sure ill let it pass for such a brilliant peace of work
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I liked it very much. I always like short poems, both for the fact they can be some of the most powerful ones and because with really long ones I usually start to lose interest. It was very short and sweet, and very realistic. I think my favorite lines are the favorites of everyone: "I bleed.I bleed.I bleed. Chaos in my head and in my mind too." because it sums up the chaos that all of us go through in life that changes the way we act and think. Thank you for entering and best of luck to you.
-Philly F. -
Nice job, it was short but had so much to say in its briefness. Thank you for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
~~~Vampy~~~ -
thank you.
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Chaos in your head, it is there always, when one does not find fulfillment. a good poem with feelings expressed in remarkable frankness.Thank you for sharing as always..
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Thank you.
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I bleed.I bleed.I bleed.
Chaos in my head and in my mind too.
loved those lines...chaos is something im living in now so i know the feeling.
great job on this and Good Luck
love[[Chaos]]
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