We haven’t spoken in months and today I heard you’re dead
I think of all the things, and words I’ve left unsaid
I wanted to tell you I loved you, that I’ve loved you all along
The feelings never went away although you’ve been long gone
Now you’re farther away and I’ll never get the chance
But if I had another I’d ask you for one last dance
We’d waltz across the floor I’d tell you how I feel
I’d tell you these feelings are so true, these feelings are so real
You’d twirl me into love and spin me across the floor
And when the dance ended I’d beg for just one more
I wish had another chance to show what’s inside
To show you that my love for you has never ceased or died
So I’ll shed another tear; for it’s you I long to see
So maybe if you can hear me you’ll save the last dance for me
A contest entry
- Picture Inspiration II by HerbalGoat.
300 points, ended April 26, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Different inspiration than what expected with the prorivded picture, because you chose to write about an other being dead, however, in the picture there are two.
I'd suggest that you take a look at punctuation, grammar, or otherwise.
Your ending line is my favorite. It adds a touch of hope to your poem. -
Stories within stories ... I feel as though I am eavesdropping ... but you've written something special here.
-
Wow, this is sad. Some of it reminds me of us. Or how we use to be. I am glad you're coming up more often, I really miss hanging out with you. I have changed a lot. And I know that I would save all dances for you. I told you I would love you until I die, and that will never cease. I still love you, even if I don't recieve it back.
Adding your comment:
