please be there;
the world changes
in my chest’s
Roman arena,
unprepared to know
nobody cares to notice
what sounds
the lion’s teeth
will make;
how close
you come to
the first row
will make
all the difference
tamer
Author notes
April 10, 2007
In fact I first wrote this just to send out a message, something I could not ask for otherwise...
In a list
A contest entry
- Please Help Me by Moons Lunar Angel.
500 points, ended March 23, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Thankyou for entering my contest and I wish you luck. Lil :F
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profound
three lines (sections) make this profound:
Roman arena, sound of teeth, and front row making the difference--
applies universally from classroom to stadia.
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I love the metaphor of a Roman arena you've applied here, Diana.... being inside the arena of one's own chest, feeling the eyes, the tension, the sound of the lion's teeth (and that can be so many different things) and especially being "unprepared"...that word/line alone says so much. The opening line held me captive for quite a while - almost like a plea for that special someone to come closer and just be there. Yes, sometimes that makes all the difference, even if we're still inside the arena facing the lion. Wonderful poetry - concise, yet so very meaningful.
~ Nicolette
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Thank you very much for the comment, Nicolette.
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This is quite strange, and successfully abstract. I like it, but could you please explain it to me?
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Hmm. I thought it was pretty clear, but anyway. I'm approaching something that I see as a turning point in my life and I wrote this poem as a message, trying to show someone I'd like them to be there with me though I don't feel I can ask for it otherwise. I suppose that, though I originally didn't mean it that way, it also turned out to have a general meaning, that of asking someone whose presence can help to stay by my side. I was using this metaphor, like comparing my chest to a Roman arena where I'm supposed to be devoured by this lion (life or whatever bad thing you can think of). I'm afraid I'll have to be alone with that, though, with nobody who'd care to see the details, like how I feel about it or what I'd like it all to be. So I added the metaphor of a tamer, the person who can make all the difference in such a situation. Or, rather, the person I need to be there at that particular moment. Hope that explains it (and doesn't confuse you even more). Thanks for the comment.
~Diana
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i like this, you are an amazing writer, you really are, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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Oh my,well written and well voiced,the plea for understanding and someone to quell the ache instead of add to the break,loved the play on lion's teeth and tamer.
Recently I shared a deep,deep concern with a dear friend,he merely said forget it and move on,I just needed to share my distress of the day,as he does,but his is about the boss and the usual restraints and constraints of the day,I was sharing the pain of 3,000 lives of my fellow men being killed and having had that negated by another friend totally,darn it hurt not to have any empathy for so many innocent lives lost and upon sharing it with another friend he negated and compounded my pain,it was a turning point,your title is apt,for I do not need a friend who agrees with me,of course we all have different opinions,but to negate the notion of continued pain and leave me bereft again,the ache was endless,if someone I loved couldn't "tame" but be lionesque and like the king of the jungle issue a command that I simply forget, oops am rambling,well done!Yvette
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Thank you for the comment, Yvette. I know how it feels and I'm sorry you've been through it. With this poem I guess I expressed more than I originally meant as I was talking about one concrete thing... But you are right, thanks for your comment.
~Diana
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