Bleeding on the inside
Tears spilling forth
Growing somewhat feeble
Hardened to the core.
Essence of beauty
As she steps into the light
Though she doesn't see it
She sure is shining bright.
Waging wars within herself
Frail,weak soul
Oh,this isn't the life for her
She's digging an empty hole.
Coming undone
And it's too late
The end of something perfect
Has slowly withered away.
Author notes
Option 2
"Poetry is about imagery and emotion".
A contest entry
- Options for everyone by DancingShadowCorpse.
375 points, ended May 5, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Celebrating 150 by intanglio2ring.
750 points, ended May 23, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Celebrating my 200th poem on AP! by DeepDarkDesire.
800 points, ended July 7, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
-
The internal emptyness of the soul
this is such a deeply sad poem.
searching for something to fill the gap that life has taken out of us
i really like this its very touching x -
You can see things and and perceive them a lot better than most. Very evident in this.
Good write.
PS> Didn't mean this to sound like a fortune cookie!LOL
-
Darkness, beauty and sadness wrapped in one beautiful poem. Well done
-
Superb
I like the way it flows so smooth I especially love the whole 2nd stanza. "Essence of beauty
As she steps into the light " brilliant. overall I loved the poem, thought it was superb.
~~~~~Jeff
-
You ladies worring about how that little black dress & how everyone looks at you! I wish you knew you were more than you could imagine! A great capture on what it feels like from a girly view!
Thanks for your entry in my contest & Good Luck!
Tang
-
cool
wonderful piece! i love the fact that you were able to describe beauty, through darkness, i don't think everyone can do that, but you pulled it off beautifully. i'll be reading more of your poems, good stuff...
-
The ambiguity in this is somewhat intriguing. On the one hand you have someone growing feeble and yet they are hardened to the core. I must ask, how does one dig a full hole?
Good luck in the contest!
-
i love the way you placed some of your words like...'hardened to the core' very cool. and well thought up. thanks for the comment as well, even though it was several days back
~DEE DUM~
-
Most Incredible Poem!
I really love how this poem just flowed and let it roll off you... I went back and reread this beautiful and well I came up with a little translation of my own ... To me it sounds like that this young woman you have written about is reflwecting upon some mistake she made in her past and is now paying for it in a weird sense of way ... I also saw this as a way that she is snapping out of a dark place and is coming to light on something that will replace her past with something more ebautiful! Either way a most b eautiful poem and I bet if you were to wear that black dress baby you'd look absolutely stunning and would be a room stopper where everyone just shuts up instantly and looks at you =)(= any ways keep up the Grrrrrrreat work my love and best of luck in the contest. 
for ya Love always, your Dashing whitetiger =)(=
-
You did very well with this poem I wish you luck!
-
a good piece, good imagery used to convey emotions, just one section here with i noticed where you need an apostrophe - And its too late - its should be it's
-
This was a great read. I really enjoyed it.
Waging wars withing herself was a clever line
-
to tell you the truth I really like this. I like the voice in this. The correct writting grammar and everything. Seems so professionally written.
The only that I love is freash meataphors
yet you can't say their anything wrong because the writing was clear and the message also was clear and precise.
but I like the way you wrote it -
"Essence of beauty
As she steps into the light
Though she doesn't see it
She sure is shining bright".
This section brought some strong emotional connections.... great piece!!
-
Nobody said you'd HAVE to like it,Lil Sheep
-
=[
=[
=[
=[
=[
= -
Lovely quatrain of stanzas, or some beautiful flower that seems so very familiar, as of a photo of a graceful cousin, photo found at the bottom of a drawer while packing hurriedly
-
Wow I love this. I could see it as i read it. Great write!
-
i love the message in the third stanza. dark poetry accomplished well as this piece has been holds a macabre beauty for me. i think the title is perfect for this piece, it adds to the imagery. i love writing in a dark style. keep up the great work, tim aka childofthenight
-
Its never to late...good write..with emotional feelings and meanings within..nicely done, thanks for sharing
-
wow
This is such a powerful read..
thank you so much for sharing..
I love it..
~M~
-
Intense...
Love this write.
Lo-Amo...
Salute! -
this is indeed sad to read. the way i look at it is that if something is truly meant to happen and one is not quite ready, the one it is meant to happen with will be there when the cosmic timing is right. thank you for sharing this with me as you have just made me realize something that is of personal nature. viyanna rosemarie
-
Hey katt this is a lovely poem.. So sweet.. wats so nice is its so lovely!!! LOl there is a bit or rhyme mixed with fre write.. its nic
Adding your comment:
1 - 24 of 24
