Staring up
High, high in the sky
I seek it
beyond the smoky ceiling
It calls to me
calls
calls, begs, crawling towards me
please
help
Keep breathing
it's the key
In this bleaching world
you must keep breathing
The cracks will
catch up
if you don't
Roll the stones in rhythm
sway
breathe and call
roll them away
must
keep
breathing
I feel the emotion
feel the pain, the hate
feel everything you do not
The ceiling cracks
and I fall
The power of blue
is forever in you
And I must
keep
breathing
Author notes
Used wordbank 4, for contest To Live and Breathe and Never Die Again
A contest entry
- To Live and Breathe and Never Die Again by pointlessdayz.
525 points, ended April 30, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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O.O
that was... well, that was just freakin awesome! I got the mental image of someone crawling, struggling to breathe... which is what I think you were getting at, but still... I didn't even notice that this was from one of my word banks because you incorporated the words so well! Awesome job. THanks for entering!
-alex -
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. Always great to get feedback on my work..
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This was a very lovely read. There's this driving string of intensity that runs through this work from the very beginning to the very end and it really keeps my interest. Very nice.
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wow. beautiful and intense. i love it. i think i even started breathing harder as i read this. great job. you have lots of talent.
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