Drop

something's missing
i can almost feel it there
in my dreams, i have it
all to myself, love
but then i wake up and my heart sinks
and i feel pathetic and empty
i'm over wishing for the past
longing for it to come back to me
now all i want is something new
i'm even over the present
it's weak and low and wrong
and i need to start over
i feel nothing right now
i feel nothing with what i have
which is so little
i just wish i could have it finally
i know exactly what i need
what would make me genuinely happy
it used to just be so small
those things i longed for
but then i got the small things
and i now i know what i really wanted all along
because the truth is, what i have right now is nothing
without feeling, without truth, without happiness
when my eyes open in the morning
i don't want to face the world
unless i know i'll find what i've needed for so long
and then i feel selfish, as if i'm asking for so much
but honestly, what else is there to want?
no one wants anything more than love
i want to at least think i'm in love
and i want to last

i can almost imagine
just finding him
and my heart falling over
about to land where it belongs
but then he dissapears
and my heart falls to the ground
dropped like it was nothing
split apart, smashed, ruined
i'm always close but never succeed

a few inches taller than me
shaggy brown hair, big brown eyes
skinny but strong, to make me feel tiny
knows how to make it good, knows what it takes
funny, shy, sweet, honest
but they don't exist
they lie and cheat and act like dicks
and it's hopeless but i hope to god i'm wrong