I know you crave me in a way
your dirty skin cannot handle.
You want to touch, to fuck,
& to try to keep it simple.
Keep your hands down your pants,
Go where [no] others have been,
You're just a quivering mass of thighs
So crave what you have, not what you can't,
I am not some toy
[Go play with your own]
Don't dream that I can satisfy,
[I know no longer what
I want, less what you want]
Don't crave this broken skin
or the shattered mind behind.
Crave what you know exists
when you open your eyes.
For I cannot be your fuck,
your fantasy [But I will allow you
to fuck. To create your own fantasy]
Is this body what you truly want,
Is this what you want to own.
For you do you know
[own me]
Author notes
Uh this is quite random & has no meaning. I liked the style of poem I wrote yesterday so I decided to write like it again.
TypewriterKISSES - Option one, I used "quivering thighs". I hope thats okay
A contest entry
- .x. DIRTY PRETTY REVOLUTION!! .x. by Mildew in PinK tile.
1150 points, ended April 14, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - darlings, it's devasting: D IRTY P RETTY by spine.
378 points, ended May 10, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - biggest contest in allpoetry history! (i hope) need 1,000 entries!! by Gasp.
1300 points, ended July 11, 2007, 638 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It's x.Tragic.x [[DP Prewrites]] by xxRainbowDawnxx.
450 points, ended August 17, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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well after reading that i have a big craving for more of your poetry and am deffinately looking forward to it.
This poem is amazing, it holds the visual side as well as the physcial embodiment of the emotions. its strong and every word have a million other meanings. As this poem is so detailed it cannot apply to what everyone has been through, so it makes this poem even more amazing and just WOW.
Congradulations on a brilliant write and i pray that you write more. And i dont think you have too much to worry about in the contest as this is AMAZING!!!
Blessed be
Chris
XXX
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This is brilliant. It's random but I love random. Yr really talented.
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its not really random tbh. I wrote this when i was in a similar position to how i am now
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I kind of got my own meaning in this. That you are broken and don't want to be used and that he/they can do whatever they want to others and themselves, but to leave you, the broken one, be. But then towards the end you admit they have you, that they have got you all along. I thought this one was quite clever really and love the way it's free for interpretation.
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random but it has meaning. sounds like a rant but if thats dirty pretty I don't know whats meant by that term. for poetry.
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This certainly makes the point it was intended to make. This is dirty in a nice way. Well done and good luck in the contest.
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Definately brings a point to it. though i can't write dirty pretty I like this. I've felt this way before.. a great write
Kitten~* -
you def got your point across in this poem. not really what im looking for but its not bad!
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wow!
i know you said it had no meaning, but i think that some people could relate to this.. i actually got the thought of this poem symbolising a person just being used for sex. some people can relate to this.. i loved the way you setted it out, it was fantastic to read. i expecially loved the way you opened your poem saying 'I know you crave me in a way, your dirty skin cannot handle,You want to touch, to fuck,& try to keep it simple' this is really creative in its own way.. suberbly written my friend.. maybe you could of made the poem more intensed and described why that person may have wanted to just 'fuck you and leave you' ooOOooh i just loved the part when you said 'I am not some toy [Go play with your own]' i absolutely loved it, it made me laugh!! haha such good humour, yet its a little sad.. but yet your puttin your anger across, which is a good thing! well written my friend!
x
Lizzie
x
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Thank you for your very positive comment. I will say well done, you got the exact meaning of my poem, & you also picked up on the satire and humour. This poem does have meaning, the authors note was misleading, it just doesn't have any meaning in my life. I'm really glad that you enjoyed reading my poem & your comment made me smile.
Charli x
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Troubled
This poem brought to mind sexual abuse..the abused talking to the abuser...standing up, fighting back even though the abused seems shattered. Feelings came to mind of disgust, rage, loathing and guilt. -
Meaningful
Just wanted to say thankyou for sharing this, the poem meant a lot to me and it's soemthing I wish I'd read 4 years ago. Brilliantly done =] Bravo
xXx
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Is this body what you truly want,
Is this what you want to own.
For you do you know
Well I can see here, you are swmming in the rive and trying to to invite the depth to swallow you...nice attempt is here my friend..
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yeah, the ending confused me. i thought you were saying something like they dont own me, and they cant use me just for there play and everything but it kind of ends up like a pancake at the end. but i like your style, its really cool. and it reads easy
xoxox -
i like the parenthesis in the poem. i was confused, because this poem came across as seductive and the speaker of the poem resisted sex. i wasn't sure where it was going when i read this line:
For you do you know
[own me]
was this apart of a woman who was forced into sex because of her occupation of a sex slave and forced to try to be seductive, but inwardly thinking those thoughts? i was confused. -
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Lol not quite. It's about someone who loves a person but doesn't want to be in love with them. & they need to be close to them so sex is the only way that they can be close. But they don't like just being a toy.
Thats basically the idea, its supposed to be conflicting.
Thank you for the comment. Charli x
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Easily the most powerful line: Don't crave this broken skin or the shattered mind behind.
Excellent read. I like the style as well, keep it up. and keep penning. -
"I am not some toy
[Go play with your own]"
the best line!
i LOVE this poem to death!
ugh its perfect!
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sweetie i need you sn in the authors comments k thanxx!
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Kay done
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