Your eyes are blue- I remember now
how you couldn't wink, either
but I forgave you.
I was always forgiving;
the meltdown, where you projected
her onto me and the curses
cut me into black and white caricatures,
the way you would smile
when my blush would become obvious
to even those not privy
to how you would whisper oh, so
close to my ear. I was the coward-
afraid of your shadow, retreating
and more afraid of your hands, touching.
How I knew I couldn't control
my fingers should you of stepped
one foot forward, how I trembled
when you spoke my name, quickly
just to force me to look at you-
blue eyes and a wink-less smile.
Oh, even the clouds knew I loved you.
Author notes
it is... it always is....
A contest entry
- Fifteen Minute Quickie Contest (more or less) WILL CLOSE AT 9pm TEXAS TIME! by Cherokee.
450 points, ended April 10, 2007, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
such is my muse... a fickle creature, she is
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Nice
Ahahahaha congrats on winning Silver ... any ways this is quite a poem here you have written and I admire the flow and the interesting poem here as well... I like how you wrote the poem and how cleverly penned it is. any ways keep up the good work here. =)(= -
Hey, why not? I'll review two cloud poems in a row. Seems to me that your mind is drifting upward and listless lately. Maybe your drifting muse is not due to writer's block but a life block. Often ruts in life, seem to make everything else feel at a standstill as well. You should consider and examine that. A root of unhappiness can come from any number of places.
This poem reminds me of a run on sentence. While that might normally annoy me, your tone is enough to save it and give it just what it needs to breathe. By that, I mean that others don't know how to create an infliction of tone change in written word, and you do. It is that, that saves this.
This one reminds me of myself. Always looking backwards and replaying things, as if that would ever change them or make them more or less poignant (depending on what they were). I think that it's that reflective nature that makes you such a great observer, which translates to good poetry. You have come far Meli.
The ending was a nice touch~
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You are beautiful.
Thank you. I wish you were here, more. I wish it was as it was a year ago.
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To be honest, I really don't remember what it was like a year ago.
It feels as if it has always been this way...
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ah- the power of words
I've decided i want to go to oxfor university and study psychology at jesus college
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Love this!!!!!
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Excellent! I love that last line, and how it just seems to round out the rest
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"how I trembled
when you spoke my name, quickly
just to force me to look at you-
blue eyes and a wink-less smile.
Oh, even the clouds knew I loved you."
Magnificent, Meli. I love this poem, my Friend. Beautifully penned, Sweetie. Congrats on your new silver chalice. 
Wanda
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It is...
excellent.
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Exquisite.
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Absolutely beautiful.
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Thank you.
With these quickie contests, I seem to only be able to play with the same couple of subjects. I'll cry when I bleed them dry!
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