We enjoyed together every gentle breeze
In life you were always my only squeeze
Praised our creator above the great trees
Gave thanks for blessings upon our knees
Our mutual effort each other to please
Not out of duty but given with ease
Shadow of Vesuvius, our sword of Damocles
Exploded one day and we started to wheeze
The Sunlight went out, ash falling like cheese
We ran to the cave with breathing dis-ease
Hugging together, in an eternal freeze
Till dust do we part, my darling, don't sneeze
A contest entry
- Picture Inspiration II by HerbalGoat.
300 points, ended April 26, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Bandits United!
Well, congratulations on the Gold trophy! Very much deserving of it, I must say.
Good mono-rhyming here, which isn't always easy to achieve, and for the most part, your meter is nice and even.
Well done!
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Oh dear I can't applaud because I have already done so another time, I'm sorry about that
~sis
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Ooops! I forgot to leave you these...
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BANDITS UNITED!
Awwwwwww! this is so endearing but so FUUNY!!! too
It looks like you had loads of fun penning this excellent poem, but when I study all those rhyming words I bet it became quite a challenge to do...It takes a good poet to make my laugh
I found this to be both romantic and humerous, well worth clicking on to read
Congratulations on the gold, well deserved...
Muuch love sent your way...
~sis
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BANDITS UNITED!!
Excellent mono-rhyme here. Rhyming is not my strong suit, so I am envious of those that can tackle with the gusto you have. I think you've responded to the image really well, and I absolutely loved the last line. Congrats on the gold! >pixxie<
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Bandits United!!1
This is great! Excellent job with this picture inspired piece! Wonderful imagery, I so enjoyed this poem!
Peace
Debbera
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Bandits United!
I wasn't sure whether to be touched or amused at your poem, so I guess I'm both! I almost entered this contest myself. The flow and rhyme are smooth, and you did a wonderful job telling the story of those unfortunate (or perhaps fortunate, to be together in death?) souls.
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BANDITS UNITED!
Awwwwwwwwwww
This was lovely
The romance was beautiful, the hint of humour was put in so well
the flow and rhythm was great, it was trully a beautiful stroy and a cleve rinterpratation of the picture
I've alwasy loved Vesuvius, the idea was intreuging
How one inncident can cause so much destruction and the imense power of nature
Well done on Gold
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Bandits United !!!
Lov ethe flow and tones and the rhyme is great the imagery is clear... a well written poem, loving and touching... Congrads on the GOLD
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BANDITS UNITED !!
I love this interpretation of the picture. It's kind of romantic with a touch of humor. The monorhyme suits it well, too.
On the serious side, it's easy to imagine this couple sharing their last moments in each others arms. It could be an old couple or young lovers.
Congratulations on the gold trophy
Dee
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Bandits United!
An excellent write and presentation. A well crafted monorhyme. Very good imagery, flow, rhyme and tone. Lovely depth of feeling. Very good word choice. Good alliteration and assonance. A most enjoyable read. Congratulations on winning Gold. Well deserved.
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Bandits United!
I am always amazed at the different perspectives a single picture can inspire. This is so different from anything I would have imagined, just really an awesome write. Congratulations on a well-deserved gold trophy!
Best wishes,
~J.
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A poem to Bandits United you with!
Pleased to meet you, skeletons! I hope that someday somebody writes a poem to my bones! 
A very entertaining write, here... and gave me a smile! 
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Bandits United!!
Oh Wow this is certainly a different take on the picture~
One of my favorite for it Touches to the core
Thank You for sharing this Magnificent verse!
Congratulations on Your Trophy win
Loved it!
Many blessings to You!
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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bandits united!
God, a nice write of love and death but it needn't have happend as I had warned then repeatedly of the dangers of the Atkin diet. A few burgers, they'd still be with us?? sigghhh
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BANDITS UNITED!
WONDERFUL WRITE. GREAT RHYTHM AND RHYME. IMAGERY IS SUPERB. I LOVE THE PICTURE, JUST SORT OF TIES IT ALL UP. THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS. KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS
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You have written a wonderful poem for this picture - great interpretation and a great gold as a result as well. Quite humorous, cute and loving at the same time.
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Bandits United :)
What a terrific piece ~ Gold is well deserved... I thoroughly enjoy the movement of the piece especially the last line! WELL DONE!
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Bandits United! :)
Wonderful piece, loved the touch of humour. great flow and form. Loved it Bunny
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You deserve the gold, matey - this is wonderful! Well done!
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A tad humorous, however full of love and adornment.
"Ash falling like cheese" - an attractive simile, though weird as well.
I really enjoyed your rhyme. It didn't feel or sound forced, and I liked how you chose words that had a different ending, but the same sound. -
Quite a unique take and interpretation of this picture used to inspire you in the contest - a bit on the humourous side, with good rhythm and rhyme, flow and story behind it all. Enjoyed the read,
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Whoa, a super poem
You pen an imaginative story that had me engaged completely...unique rhyming and expressed so well with some precious imagery...the picture is very sad and so is your poem but I couldn't help but smile at the last line
~Lilac
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wow
Very nicely done! I love the rhyming scheme. The picture is quite inspirational. I enjoyed reading this and looking back at the picture. One cann only wonder... God bless you buddy, Mark
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This is a unique take on the famous couple, it has humor within the setting. You rhyme so well, and it flows forth like that lava did! Good luck in the contest!
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Great rhyme and flow and that twisted ending really capped it off nicely.
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Dennis ~
As you know, I just reviewed this poem last night ~
It was a better read the second time around Bubba ~
Thanks for sharing this with us ~
Bear ~
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Dennis ~
Even though you threw in a grin for us at
the end, I felt this was a wonderful write with such
intense emotions and gratitude for LIFE & LOVE ~
Very well done my Friend ~
This part was by far a reality check..>>
The Sunlight went out, ash falling like cheese
We ran to the cave with breathing dis-ease
Hugging together, in an eternal freezeGreat job & best of luck in this contest ~
Bear ~
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this is a sad remembernce of Pompii, but also you made it funny with sneeze and only squeeze, lol, lending light to a topic that doesn't get much. kudos.
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