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Moonlit Discovery

How sweet the necture was,
Filling in every open space
To my heart and to my tounge
Sweet, cold embrace.

Soft creamy petals
Lined with silver lace
How fond I am of you
For this is our last embrace.

Stems are over bearing,
Hard, stiff, and dark jade green,
How long will it be till
We again will meet?

My Moonlit Discovery,
You were on my path,
How very, very, lovely it feels,
To drink your last gasp.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • wishintreeUK
    April 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for entering.

    Your first and last stanzas are pure genius! (should necture be nectar?)
    Actually, this DOES rhymejust the last two lines of your third stanza are a little off.

    Thank you for entering and best wishes for the contest

    ~Katie~


  • Serenade of Sins
    April 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed this poem. Regardles that it didn't rhyme. [I believe rhymes improove the rhythm] it was pretty descriptive, and I thought the flow was kinda of...choppy, but mostly good, and GOOD Work