I
the snake-skin shedding mouth
wear a speaker for a crown
It shakes you when we touch
Like a ghostly tongue spitting electric life deep
Into your mind.
Steadily deeper through the empty photographs
Apathy is your laughing game
and you dont miss a beat
You are vivid and lifeless
Almost purple in the face
The silent
dead caress
of roses withering softly
Voicing your brutal horn
like elephants fighting for
dear
beautiful
Life.
Author notes
I chose the first set of words
A contest entry
- To Live and Breathe and Never Die Again by pointlessdayz.
525 points, ended April 30, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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<3
((forgot to applaud...))
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haha
thank you thank you
very much
and oddly enough I was thinking the other day how a collab would turn out if we did do one..that would be cool..I did a realy weird one with a friend some long long time ago...turned out alright...but I was a horrible writer back then..so yea...we should try -
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I completely agree. I think I have you on AIM, if not, add me and we will do some serious writing, my deary hubby. <3
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Honey, this is definitely one of my new favourites. The beginning was just amazing, each word brought a new sense to the table. I especially liked "snake-skin shedding mouth". Just beautiful.
You are beautiful.
I love that we're married. <3<3
Do you think that one day we could collaborate or something? -
i think its perfect.
and has been the only revival of my deathly mood.
thank you love.
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oh my..why so gloomy?
I'm glad this helped though
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dear
beautiful
Life.
Amazing that. This poem is brilliant! Great imagery yadda yadda blah... But seriously, I loved it. Keep up the good work <3
Alice xoxo
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haha
thank you
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I like how you kept with the musical beat. The piece had a really nice flow, though I feel some of the lines and thoughts were a tiny bit fragmented or jarred. But that's just my opinion.
The imagery and verbiage was wonderful. You were able to insert a full and rich feel to the piece.
Your structure was interesting, in a good way. It was animated, but not to the point where lines are scattered every place you can think of.
Lovely title, it's very captivating and that ending is flawless.
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a lot of people say that about some of the things I write..like they are incomplete and seem to be missing something..but thats just the way I write..I also structure poems how I would say them..again thats how my mind works..haha..Im glad you read it though
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Wow
I really dont know what to say after reading this... It was that good. I think I read it twice before I could think of something to say... even then, I still dont really know what to tell you... AMAZING!
-alex -
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I love your comment.
haha..this poem got a way better turnout than I expected.
thank you for reading
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