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The Cloud Song

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gold through gold unto gold.
The sun runs down the sky.
Moonrise.
A controversy of stars.--

Days that break and twist and tear.
{Incessant rock drill
Pounding stones
carving thrones}

--for the Beloved;
Isolation of eyes.

We will leave the charnel house
slaked of lust--
we will go up to the hollow place
and sit with the silent men.
Black through black unto black;
and leave at the second turning of the stair,

a faint voice sings the cloud song
ripping the raiment of Ulysses,
the torn curtain.
The mirror upturned, cracked.
The ropes burn,
the sea is a great lash thrashing,
silver through silver unto silver,
his words drown:

and how shall he promise you,      this,

or that?


In the grove see how
the fawns close their great eyes
in weariness:

At the turning of the stair
that which leads to faith of lilies
encased in ice;
that the flesh warms.

The tower is cold,
the stairs wend
when they end
and open wide
Eve sits beneath the flowering tree.
None may follow.--
as your tears fall
onto her outstretched arms.
white through white unto white.

 

 

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1 - 15 of 15

  • cvillelisa
    March 18, 2008
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    x

  • it all i know
    April 22, 2007
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    good job


  • Night Hope gold member
    April 16, 2007

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    "Gold through gold unto gold.
    The sun runs down the sky.
    Moonrise.
    A controversy of stars.--

    Days that break and twist and tear."

    This is a very intelligent, visceral, intense piece...You establish, from the beginning lines, that this is no mere poem, it is to be an experience...then you follow through on that promise with such incredible imagery & language...Golden, indeed...Congratulations on your win...Well done, Poet...Classical & timeless... Wanda


  • UniquelytheSame
    April 14, 2007
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    wow your words blew me away. beautiful poem ! keep up the good work!! ^_^


  • manoguru
    April 13, 2007
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    goodness gracious! this poem so etherally beautiful!!


  • love my jose luis
    April 12, 2007

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    Your words were put together so perfectly. I think that you put this poem together wonderfully. I really liked reading it, it gave me a sense of calm and I always like that, especially right now since I am extreamly stressed. Thank you, you helped me out with that a little bit.
    ~Alix


  • sublimewriter
    April 12, 2007

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    there's so much beautiful imagery in here. it reminds me of james joyce. i had to stop and read it over a few times and i thought that the tower referred to "repunzzel" and the tower that she was locked in. the flowering tree seemed to refer to the golden apple tree in greek stories where the three beautiful women were offering 1. wisdom 2. beauty 3. riches to woe someone. the mirror seemed a bit cliche though.


  • NurseChilly gold member
    April 11, 2007

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    James Joyce was a bit of a cad and a heavy drinker too... his twists with the church ie: roman catholic are legendary... and he also fought for the working class man... and woman.. he eloped with miss barnacle... LOLOLOLOL great name that

    anyways.... i liked this... made my brain hurt... but that's okay... sometimes i like to think straight-headed


  • redmarkonthewall
    April 10, 2007

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    Intruiging!

    The first verse really got me. And the three lines:
    "Gold through gold unto gold.
    silver through silver unto silver,
    white through white unto white."
    Just so weird but intruiging! I am not sure what they are suppose to mean but I like them! The first verse would definetly have to be my favourite!
    The line "The sun runs down the sky." is just so unique and paints a very interesting picture in my mind! Well done!


  • slavetothemusic
    April 10, 2007

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    Your imagery is beautiful, and I really like the images of "a conspiracy of stars", and "faith of lilies encased in ice" -- I haven't read Ulysses but the vivid colours and barren landscape made it seem like a forgotten place haunted by restless ghosts.

  • cvillelisa
    April 10, 2007

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    The sound factor alone is a 10, Literary Allusions, another 10 (Pound's Cantos, Eliot, Joyce, Bible, and probably some I am missing).

    Gosh that last stanza -- her outstretched arms but we cannot go there. Why? Why can't we follow?

    Your layers are elegant -- they are deep but not made of the heavy brocade which is beautiful but not for everyone -- your layers are more everyman and accessible, the language solid and recognizable.

    Even when I don't understand, I feel something. Something familiar and yet also undiscovered all at the same time. Odd how you do that.

    It does fall through the colors, down the page. The controversy of stars and the rip and tear of Days.

    This probably my new favorite Lute poem though I haven't figured out just why yet....

    Good luck in the contest.

    Lisa


  • PerVirtuous
    April 10, 2007

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    I love this. I feel like the words are paints and there is a picture forming in mid air as I speak them... such imagery. I like how you think. Three bunnies for this.


  • Touchof1der silver member
    April 10, 2007

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    This is one of those writings that make you wish you could close your eyes as you read and absorb the images that spiral down the page. I am wondering if there should be a space between the line, "or that?" and "In the grove see how..." As I was reading it a second and third time, it just felt like a natural place for to pause slightly. I dunno. Just a thought. I think you did a fabulous job here as trite as that always sounds in a comment in this case. it's true.
    ♥ Touchof1der

  • Pietro456
    April 10, 2007

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    Excellent !

    A super poem here. I really like it ! But then again I was always an easy marker when I was a teacher. Keep up the great work my friend.

  • pruedence
    April 10, 2007

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    While reading your poem scattered visions of hard working people were singing outloud within your words...lovely imaginery...thanks for sharing

1 - 15 of 15