Chips of guilt
Settle painfully
In my stomach
(original of course...
I needed the salt fix)
Snorting coke
That enabled dreams,
To emerge as fact
(There's a lot about...
Who make it transfix)
Slips on silt
Fettle disdainfully
In a moment
(Rare is source...
With supply scattered thin)
Ruins what built
From a young age
Soon, who knew it.
(retraces what force...
Beautified that dream)
Author notes
Chips of guilt Settle painfully In my stomach (original of course... I needed the salt fix) Snorting coke That enabled dreams, To emerge as fact (There's a lot about... Who mirage fault fast) Slips on silt Fettle disdainfully In a moment (Rare at source... Then supply scattered thin) Ruins what built From younger age Soon, who knew it. (retrace the force...
That later died)
A contest entry
- Guilt ... by Polaja.
700 points, ended May 23, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Love how you stuck to the original form completely. Bravo!
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Unusual
This is interesting as you took the words 'salt' and 'chips' to represent cocain. The structure was good- the elation/positive side (high) followed by the downside (the comedown/paranoia) - it reflected the subject matter.
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what I meant was didn't sound like your writing style...as always;
Sandra -
I know this is only your Muse, so I say great imagery, I am very against drugs of any kind, but enough said, Bella
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This doesn't sound like you...hope you are ok.
as always; Sandra
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