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I Love Fred

Some folks say I am insane.
Some say I am out of my head.
So I will just try to explain
Why I’d rather be living with my old dog Fred!
Fred never cares what’s on TV.
Fred never wants to fight.
Fred is always happy to see me
No matter if I come home in the dead of night.
Fred doesn’t mind if I drink.
Fred doesn’t care if I smoke.
Fred never asks “what do you think?”
And Fred never frowns at an off color joke.

Chorus
Fred won’t hog all the covers,
Or ask if his clothes make him fat.
Fred loves all of my lovers
My woman was never like that!
He’ll eat whatever I feed him
And I never hear him complain.
He’s happy when ever I see him
And he has sense to come in out the rain.

Fred won’t spend all my money
He doesn’t even like to shop.
His disposition always is sunny.
And when we play rough he never yells stop.
Fred loves it when my friends come.
He never asks “where have you been?”
Fred is loyal to me and then some.
It’s no wonder that he is this mans best friend.
Fred never takes long in the bathroom
He’s there just for a drink
He don’t care if I use his shampoo
And he never leaves his stockings to soak in the sink

Repeat Chorus

Fred cares not if I fart at dinner,
Or if I eat with my hands.
He always thinks I’m a winner,
Yes Fred has to be one of my biggest fans.
Fred don’t mind if I play with his sister.
Not many would put up with that.
He’s terrific, I tell you, mister.
And when I’m trying to sleep he don’t want to chat.
To Fred I can do no wrong
He thinks I hung the moon.
That’s why I wrote him this song
And I plan to go home and sing to him soon

Repeat Chorus

 



Author notes

A little longer than you wanted....sorry

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • unavailable
    September 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this very much, thanks a bunch.


  • tarcus
    June 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ah the old redneck love sonnet. cutexx


  • 2lullabyhaven
    June 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hahaha dear old Fred; got to love him lol thanks for your entry into my contest and good luck to you lol


  • lostangel07
    April 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hahaha. That made me laugh. Thankyou so much
    xx


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    April 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lol this is awsome and just the way it flowed with humoir throughout it certainly caught my attention well done


  • takemypainaway
    March 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    lol fred great dog

    love this

    thank you so much for the entry

    --kat

    *


  • TwiztidMaggot
    June 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    haha. this is a really good poem... thanks for entering it... I really needed the laugh! lol. good write! I like it... haha. "fred cares not if I fart at dinner" is the line that REALLY got me! omg! good job! and good luck!!!

    Crimson


  • th3sl4y3r
    May 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    lol.... I like this it is quite funny, proberly because it's TRUE!!! lol... there is no use any man denying that he loves his dog more than his woman
    the lyrics are very well written (i was going to tell you it would make a great song, and then looked at the tags) you have done a great job at writting this, very well done!!
    thank you for entering my contest and good luck..
    peace and light always


  • cali951
    May 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    awww i like this poem its cute and funny well i hope you do good in my contest cause i liek this little song about Fred.


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    May 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Does Fred cook dinner, wash the laundry, do the dishes, clean the tub, make the bed, sweep the floor, vacuum, make lunches for the kids, grocery shop, do errands, etc.

    No?

    well, neither do I!


  • Lady-Pegasus
    May 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your contest submission, I do need to ask you review the rules and edit your submission appropriately. Please reply IN COMMENTS to me and let me know this has been done, thank you.
    this is certianly a funny little ditty hear, dear poet and just a note, some women really are at least close to this, althouhg i personally know noen that drink from the toilet, dun mean they're arent any, just none i know that admit it! And aye, a dog is man's best frined, but if you start becoming intimate with fred, well, then its too far and time to call the doc! LMAO See/ we are good for one thing at least! Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *


  • Princess Perdue gold member
    May 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great write and very entertaining, put a grin on my face.

  • Mercury Rising
    May 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Priceless

    Gizmo Bob, this is just so hilarious and true. Do you sing this as well? This was really fantastic and so funny (sorry ladies!). Best of luck in the contest!
    This is a inner in my book.

    David Michaels


  • Jadeheart 41
    April 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    lmao!! This was just the best !!!! So true!! my hubby will just love this one!! Give Fred a hug for me!

1 - 17 of 17