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The Hearts In Her Eyes

I saw the hearts in her eyes
I thought them to be mine.
but this poem on soggy paper
betrays that they were not.

She told me that she Loved me
With hearts in her eyes.
while she looked in my own
but she was looking through me
and staring right at him.

 

Those hearts were not for me.

Author notes

The Girl who has been a first to do many things in my life, like write love poetry, like my poems Needing you and Tall spruce Trees. has yet again done another thing...she made me cry.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Tamera
    April 22, 2007

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    sorry to say some of our best writes are from sorrowful experiences. I hope your next one is full of hope and joy.


  • Starrchild777 gold member
    April 22, 2007

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    promises given and promises taken but to whom was the promise whispered to in their own ears...?

    ~*Starr*~ xxxxx


  • -Ink Artist-
    April 22, 2007

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    Emotive and emotionally charged write. It's so painful to discover that the one who holds our hearts in their hands usually don't understand the impact they have on us. They can't see the love. Well written short work.


    ~Lori


  • Lost In Dreaming
    April 18, 2007
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    awww...i love it. I needed a good cry and that gave me one. I hope you can move on quickly.
    meg


  • ckwriter69
    April 17, 2007

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    Good write, I've had the same thing happen to me recently while giving you what you felt was some time she looks right past you and into the eyes of another. Very sad and written well. Good luck in the contests and thanks for sharing.


  • I-Am-Custard
    April 16, 2007

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    This is lovely, very subtley written, understated hurt which shines through if you read carefully. One thing though... I didn't like the word 'hearts', I knew what you were going for but hearts put me in mind of hallmark cards and doodles in school-books saying 'Kevin 4 Ellie' with the 'I's dotted with hearts... It trivialises what is so special about this apparant love.


  • Kahliya
    April 16, 2007

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    Oh gosh - emotionally powerful and incredibly sad.
    I found it strange that you didn't capitalize the letters at the beginning of the lines particularly the ones following a full stop.
    At first glance that tends to make the piece look like one loooooooooong sentance and can turn people off actually reading it.

    Other than that I found this piece beautifully poignant and well written


  • AngelEyes13
    April 12, 2007

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    Very short but full of emotion. There are many people that can realate, guys and girls. Sometimes we wonder if they were ever looking at us, or always looking through us at the other person. Great job and thanks for entering my contest.


  • Mainzy
    April 11, 2007

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    wow

    This is a amazing piece. Its so short and beautiful. And its so sad,I love how you wrote" while she looked in my own but she was looking right through me and at him... I know this feeling <3 great and amazing piece hun!


  • ronnica
    April 11, 2007
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    Love is often cruel, unreasonable, and folly yet we still can hope.


  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    April 11, 2007

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    It is always painful to love someone and think the love is returned only to find that someone else has her heart. Your poem was short and succient and captured a lot of emotion in just a few lines.


  • Mhyko
    April 11, 2007

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    Such are the tragedies of love. This poem's simplicity, for me, made the poem more relatable. Don't worry, if something is taken, surely another replace it.


  • Lady-Pegasus
    April 11, 2007
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    Awwww, dear poet, do not despair, for though a cliche` it is that way for good reason: If it does not last it was not meant to be. You certainly put your pain verry succinctly in short work, well done! I do suggest a brief spelling check, however, than this piece wilshine wonderfully! Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *


    • boy-poet
      April 11, 2007
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      done with the spell check and thanks for the comment

      • Lady-Pegasus
        April 11, 2007
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        aw yes much better, and FYI for future use, sometimes spellcheck will not catch such things as gramatical or homophonic erros, (not the case in this piece, just something to remember)

  • Bob 42 silver member
    April 10, 2007
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    Proof-read

    Perhaps you could push him down the stairs,
    then you would receive all of the stares.


  • trixey
    April 10, 2007
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    awww... levi she really did hurt you. i'm here for you. please call


  • ScarletLetter
    April 10, 2007
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    sad

    but beautiful at the same time.


  • NiurTarow
    April 10, 2007

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    I feel your pain Levi. The same thing happened to me recently. Keep pushin' on. -REO Speedwagon (a band, in case you didn't know.


  • babygurl92
    April 10, 2007

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    thi8s is very nice i like it...this is kinda what happened to me... but ithe other way around, of course


  • XpushXmeXagainX
    April 10, 2007
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    this is really good. I can tell she really hurt you and I can feel the emotion. Nice write


  • Minorchar
    April 10, 2007
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    Heh. Nice, short. Not the most original of subjects. The first stanza is the best.

1 - 23 of 23