In the silent darkness all alone
silhouetted cast in stone
Alongside the pathway that meanders there
a crescent moon both stark and bare
where bestial forms dance to and fro
and human beings fear to go
A limpid dirge, eerie, chilling
dissonance cacophony so unwilling
While febrile souls look on in vain
Jejune spirits in hopeless pain
Author notes
I chose option #1 The word bank for this contest
A contest entry
- Options for everyone! (prewrites also allowed) by anoetic poet.
450 points, ended April 25, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Write Appreciation Day 2007 by Kimojuno.
1000 points, ended September 14, 2007, 102 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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dissonance
1. inharmonious or harsh sound; discord; cacophony.
2. Music.
a. a simultaneous combination of tones conventionally accepted as being in a state of unrest and needing completion.
b. an unresolved, discordant chord or interval. Compare consonance (def. 3).
3. disagreement or incongruity.
cacophony
1. harsh discordance of sound; dissonance: a cacophony of hoots, cackles, and wails.
2. a discordant and meaningless mixture of sounds: the cacophony produced by city traffic at midday.
3. Music. frequent use of discords of a harshness and relationship difficult to understand.
They appear to mean basically the same thing.
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Other then that I enjoyed this poem, and after looking up some words, this gives the impression of showing immature spirits constantly sickened for all they did wrong and will never truly find peace for what they did.
I notice it was a word bank so I think you did a nice job of throwing them together, as you can see above I only noticed those two words, of course I admit not truly knowing about the words however they seem to admit the same thing (more or less).
Anyway! I'm not getting this completely and so if I am off at all let me know and I will re-read this completely, and hopefully when my brain is functioning more clearly, I will be able to get this further.
Jeff. -
bravo
Neat, nifty and extremely creepy stuff!! Loved it! bravo...bravo...bravo...
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Well said in so few words! This was exactly the kind of picture I had in mind. Thanks for the entry and good luck!
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Very haunting. Your writing is very clear and deep
so honestly written
the I would never want to go there
the word choice here was remarkable
your level of writing here was displayed
Must you read again
to the soul that awaits -
Hello, Sabindi. This is very moody and atmospheric, haunting piece of poetry which is very different from your other poems. A truly fine job you've done. Best of luck in the contest.
David Michaels
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Hi David
Firstly a huge big welcome back. I so missed you during your absence and am delighted that you are back on this site. I truly missed your magnificient work, something that has always inspired me. I too have been away for a few months. Needed a break and was suffering from writers block.
Thnks too for your comments and don't worry, this poem was purely written for this contest and not as you so rightly have said, in my usual style. I would however, love to get your comments on my poem "Tears of a Lion" as I so respect your wisdom and this poem, means a lot to me.
Can't wait to read and see more of your work.
Love, hugs and as always, many happy, sunny smiles.
Marilyn
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