we cleaned your room today
took the pictures off the wall
dug your dirty clothes from
under the bed, in the closet
and threw them in garbage bags
you weren't happy here
didn't want the love we show
the care we give
only wanted your freedom
to do what you like
slept most of the day away
skipped school
ate all the time
so depressed you can't think straight
but neither can we
so it’s time for you
to go
your dad, after ten years
has stepped up and said
he’ll keep you for a while
nothing definite as to time
but if you give him the flak
you gave us it won’t be long
grandparents aren’t meant
to raise teens twice
we tried
and it might have worked
if you cared a bit about anything;
yourself, others and even us
but this was not to be
and we hope you find
what you are searching for
-your self esteem
no friends, failing grades at school
living in a make believe world
on Nexopia and Vampirefreaks.com
texting to anyone
in your social life
so busy you have no time
to wash clothes,
to look after yourself properly
think we nag when we ask you
to clean your room and do your homework
we kept our cell phone
the one you used for
a thousand dollar phone bill
that first month you came,
the ipod, the ghetto blaster,
so there’ll be nothing you can
do except read
or do school work
at this new place you will be living at
no computer, no house phone
just a house in the country
where you will have time to reflect
on your life and hopefully make
a choice to change it for the better
nothing we can do to help now
we watched you leave as
pieces of our hearts went with you
you will always be part of us
no matter how far away you are
we wish nothing but the best for you
may you make the right choices now
find your inner strength to
dig yourself out of this hole
come out on top
smiling, just like you used to
miss you sweetie
Author notes
Grannyeri
Option 6
I READ THE RULES
I feel, I love, so I live
It's up to her now, may she find that inner strength to climb back from that hole she's in to smile again.- true story
A contest entry
- Please, Anything... by Piccola.
450 points, ended April 24, 2007, 20 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Family....The good bits and the bad by Dreams27.
500 points, ended June 3, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - When will they learn.................... by trace3grls.
450 points, ended July 12, 2007, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Really!!!!!! by LuverzTearz.
550 points, ended July 13, 2007, 24 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hana Hou! by islekine.
475 points, ended August 16, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - whatever you want by Anonymous Shadow.
600 points, ended October 1, 2007, 141 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - emotion emotion emotion...{{1000points!!}} by XInSaNiTy-FaIrX.
1000 points, ended October 7, 2007, 69 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me emotions by BonaFidePoet.
600 points, ended December 3, 2007, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - strung out && b r o k e n more than an old cassette by PaintedParisPassion.
600 points, ended December 24, 2007, 65 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can you move me? by sweetberry7.
600 points, ended January 9, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Time For You To Take A Chance ~ Round One by Tears and Raine.
320 points, ended January 26, 188 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Family Disappointments by aboomer.
525 points, ended April 14, 22 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 100 or more!!! by Laura Lamarca.
450 points, ended April 19, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - From the heart... by Irish Fang.
600 points, ended May 10, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by Midnight-x-Rose.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2381 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Favorites and The Library Group by Piccola.
600 points, ended June 26, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Teenagers! Parents! Who knows best??? Pict Inspired/PIF by Xianaria.
800 points, ended July 26, 12 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold Anyone? by Cat10.
650 points, ended August 11, 91 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is wonderfully written. It truly deserves all the trrophies you have won for it. I loved the emotion and the hearfelt sorrow in this winderful work of grreat writing. I will try to read more from you soon.
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Wow; this was so deeply heartfelt and exploding with emotions from stanza to stanza. That has to be the hardest thing to do; watch your child walk away..
there's nothing you could do but just let them go and hope & pray that they will come back changed.
This was so beautiful & full of honesty.
Really tugged at my heartstrings.
Amazing write.
Thanks for entering & best of luck
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Aww this was a deeply heartfelt & emotional piece.
You really tugged at my heartstrings.
Loved it! & good luck in the contest -
oh this is so sad. It was interesting, I didn't really catch the flow of it, but it's different. I don't think this is quite right for my contest
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thank you for entering! this is a very powerful write, the emotion and feeling of being drained by raising this wayward teen comes through quite vividly. i hope she does make it out and returns smiling.
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The ending is very touching. I really enjoyed reading this poem. Thank you for entering my contest!
Somehow I enjoyed the irony that this is from the grandparents' point of view but uses all lowercase, no punctuation--basically non-traditional writing that is generally attributed to the ignorance of younger generations. I have no idea if that was intended or if it's how you normally write but it seemed like that might be relevant.
Well, thanks again! -
I can see somewhat how this would fit in because you took her in and tried to raise her the best you could but it seemingly backfired. Although, it doesn't really show parenthood.....it does show someone going through a hard time and you trying to figure out what that may be and to help the best you could. I hope it works out well for this girl in the end and her life gets on track which usually in these cases....it does. Nice piece.....thank you for entering and good luck to both you and the girl.
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Im honestly not sure how I feel about this poem.
It did follow the message I asked for, however, I was a child runaway and I think that perhaps you should observe the other side of the subject of this poem.
Thanks for entering,
C.Comatose -
I know the feelings expressed here. In our case it's World Of Warcraft ... seems to take away the desire to do anything. Depression so thick you could cut it with a knife ... yet unwilling to try and get help. Affecting all of us to the soul. It's like a creeping fog that gets in and is destroying all of us. Congrats on all the trophies; well deserved.
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I know right where you're coming from with every word you've written here. It is a deep piece. Thanks for entering. Shancy.
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This is so touching and heartfelt and I have been where you are and I think I can share a bit of the heartache you went through. Well done.
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Regardless of its basis in fact - which I can't judge - this would have been a hands-down winner if you had written the first stanza and stopped. Everything after that seems forced and rather blunt; it's hard to be emotionally involved in a piece that leaves the reader with so little to think about.
Thank you for entering; congratulations on the many other accolades this has received. -
this was so pretty/
XDDD
thank you for entering.
i felt the pain in this. -
Nicely written.
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This reminds me of that short story I once read called Your Shoes when a troubled teen ran away from home and it was monologue of her Mum being angry with her, then blaming her own mother for making her who she is which made her daughter the way she was, it was very heartwrenching.
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This is absolutely fabulous
and look at all the well deserved trophies this has won and I see why, it is strong in it's message nd heart grasping as well. enjoyed the read very much
Thank you for this entry and good luck in the contest
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Wow. No wonder you've won all those nifty little trophies with this; it is rather powerful. True stories always hit the reader's heart more intensely than anything else, I'd say. Great job and thanks for entering.
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this is great, but i dont think it follows my rules
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Such a touching and beautiful poem... and also eye-opening... By reading this I realized how much I sometimes trouble my parents and especially grandparents.
For me, this poem is a warning to change the way things are going on right now in my life...
I am so glad I read this, it spoke to me on a very personal level...
I will keep this poem in my heart.
Keep on writing!
Annie
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First off, congrats on all the well-deserved trophies on this!
I know I've read this before - and really liked it. Your wording was excellent, full of great images and emotion - very well written.
This is a very hard situation that many are dealing with right now - I have friends who have been/and are going through this....so an easily relatable topic.
well done!
thank you for your entry
best wishes
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Terrific-speaks to many of our teens caught up in meism
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I have definatly read this before.... i loved it then and I loved it now.... Its so sad and I can totally connect with is... but only somewhat. I am now living with my grandmother and grandfather.... but I pay them to live there and stuff like that... I pay my own bills.
Great poem...
Thank you so much for entering my contest and good luck,
~Lumin -
It's a very nice poem & I wish all your dreams come true about it.
I bet you didn't read the rules, esp. #4---plz re-read them
Thnx for entering & Best of Luck
GloriousGift
Heba -
The ending really completed this for me. It seems like a complex letter from a mother to her daughter. I see you have had a lot of recognition for this poem, which is great, I'm just not sure where it will fall in my contest. Very emotional write.
Thank you for entering my contest. -
Hello there and thanks for entering my contest anything goes your piece was very moving. It's a great story too thanks again for entering and best of luck too you.
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Beautiful piece you penned here. Great job. The imagery and flow blended well together. Best wishes to you and thanks for sharing this with me. Keep that pen handy dear poet.
♥ Touchof1der -
I have read this before, and I still enjoy every bit of it!
Your writing is so sincere and so deep when it comes to making one think.
Thanks for entering. Good luck.
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Wow, this has been a successful poem. I see you've won a lot already. Congratulations.
My thoughts on this poem are that it's a great story. A lot of people can relate to it, or at least some part of it. I think it has something for a lot of people. But as a poem, I think the actual writing of it could've been done a bit better. I'd like to see it edited and improved, because I think you could really do something with it. Thanks for entering.
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apparently, you have done well in the past with this one...and this one sort of hits close to home, except i was the one who left my parents house when i was seventeen...for different reasons, of course, but the obvious heartbreak of events like these cannot be overlooked, and writing about it is the best way to let out pure emotion...thank you for the honor of letting me read this
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This indeed is a very moving piece, it makes a solid impact and is very well written. Excellent work on this and good luck to you.
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Great message
I didn't really appreciate it for the poetic feel of it...I was too busy appreciating the message.
This is a great display of some much needed wisdom.
Love it.
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I'm sorry but this poem more than exceeds the 32 line limit stated in the rules. I will have to remove it from the contest. I hope to see your work in my next contest.
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This is sooooooooooo sad. I loved it... it jus made me feel the pain, anger and hurt. Good luck in the contest!
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this is so sad. It is truly heart breaking when we do and give all we have, yet the child will just not grasp it. It is sad when we have to let go and say goodbye Praying that one day they will understand what we taught them and be thankful for what we have done.
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Wow!
I know so many troubled teens and this piece just hit right square dead home with me.
I was once that troubled teen; I caused my parents a bit of grief when I was 17 and thought I was grown and knew it all...
I love this piece!
Thank you for sharing it with me! -
Please put what I asked in the a'notes, thank you.
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I love love love love love this!
so depressed you can't think straight
but neither can we
so it’s time for you
to go
I really like how you mentioned everythihng that troubled you, and it's just very well written, full of emotion. Awesome job! -
i don't think she would want her story on the internet. and i think teens should be able to figure their own way out.:<
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As I read this I found myself sobbing over my keyboard.
My son, my baby boy, my only son and my oldest is killing himself with drugs.
I am so lost without the boy I used to know, and trust but I too have had to come to the conclusion that in order to save him I have to ignore his excuses, promises and pleas. I have to send my son away.
I am so sorry that you to (that anyone) have to go through this kind of pain.
Best Wishes to You and Yours~
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I know this is a nice poem, but I read it before. Could you please enter another, so I can have a read with fresh eyes?
Thank you. :]
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great well so sad i think you have done the right thing as i went throught this also.....
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This is very good, I can relate in many ways.
Thanks for the entry -
Guilty (Everybody's guilty)
Thanks for entering my contest, I will be commenting after it is over. -
This was very heart-breaking. I surely hope the situation is somewhta well.Thanks for entering.
..Simply Me♥ -
aww great!
thank you got entering.
x -
good job, alot of emotion here!!!
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Wow, this is a wonderful piece, as all the many trophies you have rightfully earned with prove. This is love and emotion in it's purest form. Very well written, thank you so much for entering.
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it's a really saddening story that reminds me of what was nearly myself some years back. i can appreciate your sharing this. thank you. dusty
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I'm sorry, but I remember this very clearly and have commented on it too before.
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this is beautiful. i am a teen myself and i am amazed to see how well parents or grandparents can understand us. I almost cried so congratulatio
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this is great, i really enjoyed reading this, thanks heaps for entering it, good luck in my contest! =)
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I really love this poem. Its very true - often we get so caught up in our own hurt and self absorbed reality that we forget about the people that love us, and we take advice as critism (even though, in a way it is, lol). I enjoyed this read however, and good luck in the contest.
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yes
and damn this is in a lot of contests. hahahaha -
i would like to thank you for sharing your talent with me through this wonderful write. i wish you well in the contest that we both have entered. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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Beautifully said, a truely captivating piece. A little lengthy and bland in some parts but other than that, a truely aspiring piece.
Much luck
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heartbraking
i loved this piece i have to say....
alot of feeling and very heart felt also.....
constructed beautifully............ -
Excellent
Such a horrid thing to have to experiance. So sad and so beautifully written, I hope this girl gets it together.
Thank you for entering my contest
Good luck
Zoe xxx -
http://allpoetry.com/poem/by/Mil check out some off mine please would appreciate some feedback
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Thanks for the entry
Sad stuff indeed.
Hope she turned around.
Regards
Previn -
Well written
Another well-written piece that I enjoyed. The situation appears unpleasant, a situation often portrayed on American TV shows a lot, most based on fact. Some people will not accept love or help even when it is presented to them. It is a great write.
I did, however, notice a few small things. "Flack" does not appear in the dictionary, only as such minus the "c" i.e. "flak", a most common American turn of phrase, I believe. Also, the dash ( - ) before "your self esteem". Either remove it or place a double colon ( : ) at the end of the previous line. The other dash ( - ) at the end of this sentence: "if you cared a bit about anything -" is fine where it is because there is a space between the last letter of the last word and the position where you placed it. -
You won the gold...
You took my heart...
I feel for you....Take care....sending strength and
energy!
*PEACE* -
hm, i have definitely read this before. it doesn't lose it's charm with time, it's a very good piece overall. heart-wrenching. thanks for the entry
cassidy -
Okay...
At first, I was thinking...what the ?
Then, I read on...and on...through my tears.
This one REALLY got me...
Thank you so very much.
*PEACE
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This is a sad piece. I like the imagery and flow. It was very creative and clever. Bravo! Good luck in the contest!
Jackie ♥ -
this is a real sad peice, but its so full of love at the same time, thank you for entering
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Great
I think I have commented on this poem in the past but I feel the need to say this again now that it is an entry in my contest. THIS IS GREAT!! Thanks so much for entering and best of luck in my contest you are going to the finals!! -
not all teens rebel so much, but i actually had a had relationship with my parents, after 14 years with my mom i moved in with my dad for a year wich was worse. so i live with my grandparents now, i have changed alot, i used to be so angry i used to cut, i used to be so mean. but things change, people mature...she will grow up. thank you for entering =]
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This speaks truly of thousands. Caring parents, comfortable home, great schools; it all guarantees nothing. Thanks for entering
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so depressed you can't think straight
that line right there speaks of how I feel right at this moment. -
yea, ok i get it. didnt take me to long for me to figure it out but i had to think so its good.
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So many teens seem to have strayed from what we call moral values. I have written so much about how I feel and my voice goes unheard. So maybe this is troubled for the fact that this world has no promises for us. Or maybe the fact that we feel there is no true love but in Christ. I'm not disagreeing with you, but I'm coming from my point of view. My mommy and daddy have never been there for me and they never even had the desire to be.3 days after I was born they were in Las Vegas playing on the slot machines. What this generation is crying out for is a love that's unconditional. I'm so fed up with searching for this that Christ is my only outlet. I think you were dead wrong for giving up on her. You could be the key to her suicide. My mommy said the same words to me, "I hope you find what you're looking for" this to a teenager is a sign that you've given up on them. Love is all she needs trust me. Take it from a 18 year old that started paying bills at the age of 14 because mommy didn't want to work and daddy told me to my face that drugs meant more than me in his life. Take it from an 18 year old that at the age of 17 was about to get choked to death by her mother and nearly paralyzed. We hurt, we get depressed, but it doesn't help if you give up on us. Overall good write, I loved it, it gave me a chance to free some emotions. You should read some of my work, because it relates to this
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WOW! I can relate so much to this because when I was 10 almost 11 years old, I chose to live with my dad because I wasn't willing to accept the love my mom was giving to me. I now have seen that was a mistake and I am actually going back to stay with her now because my dad is going through troubling times. I hope everything works out with her and you as well. Thanks for entering and good luck!
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i read a comment by someone named frankie i thought this was so harsh and i hope you dont take to much notice of it.......i my self thought it was a great write
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great write the best i have read for a while
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so i add my claps to the hundreds
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looking at the title i thought this piece would be quite sterotypical in a teens point of view. how wrong i was. i love the fact it is from, what a gather to be a, foster parents point of view of caring for a teen who has caused them alot of trouble but they loved her and as the last line demonstrates ' miss you sweetie.' a joy to read.
. Rewarded 6
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