Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Deeper Connection

Palpitating beast
residing within my core.
Why do you insist on
creating such a commotion,
sending shock-waves through my mortal fibre
and emotions cart-wheeling in my mind?

All I want is a connection
between my soul and another,
yet you search for something deeper.
Determined to never again become
shards callously scattered in the dust.

Author notes

A write about the confusion the heart can create in one's mind, however the word "heart" and many associated words or themes were banned from use in the poem. Hope you enjoy.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • a u r a
    August 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Deep

    Brilliantly written -'Palpitating beast'-could not help smile at this expression-'creating such a commotion'- I often think it is it's sole occupation -'emotions cart-wheeling'- this is a nice way of presenting it-'All I want is a connection
    between my soul and another'- a universal cry - very very relating indeed-'you search for something deeper.'-probably because thats what we mortals are made of deep things -with loads of depth and substance -I liked the title of this poem too,'Deeper Connection'


  • DolphinLass silver member
    April 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    well done and congrats on trophy, well expressed...we all have experienced this or will at some time in our lives, sometimes many times and it doesn't get easier, you just have to trust in yourself and each other


  • maa gold member
    April 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    hehehe, I always love it when I see "the heart" putting some dynamite within "the mind" ... that's her role and at the end, she wins over him ...


  • Lyre-Bird-
    April 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Firstly I want to thank you for entering the contest and following all the rules........
    Your entry has been added to the finals list!!!!!

    wish you the best of luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

    Tracey

    *the finals list is in no set order, Judging takes place after the closing of the contest..............


  • PoetsAngel
    April 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this one, it's soft and yearning for somethig that seems always just out of reach...I believe that the heart can love many, but the soul belongs to only 1, it can only be given away once, for once it finds it's other half, thats where it stays, even if the heart moves on to greener pastures, the souls remains.

1 - 7 of 7