I once was a small child forgotten in a room
there was never nowhere to go, Mom had left us on our own
Life was hard but I had no one to tell.
I took care of my brothers, to drugs mom had fell.
The drugs had control of her, I was lost and alone.
The P.O. took her away, nine years later she owns a home.
I thought her rules sucked, so I started to rebel.
I was taught to be good, I thought, “Go to hell!”
I took off to do my own thing, never cared what she’d say.
Now I know who was right, because prison is the price I pay.
My brothers will one day learn, they’re out doing the same.
I try to tell them but they think I’m pretty lame.
Soon I’ll be home, little do they know.
Once I get there my anger will show.
A peak at my life, my Family I love dearly.
I’m coming home to stay, a life to start I’m ready!!
I’ve seen my mom change, she has a whole new high.
I’m looking for one myself, She makes everything alright.
By my side she stands, a debt never to repay.
Unless my love is accepted, then too much she’ll say.
I love and respect her so much, I don’t know how to show it.
I’ll send her this little poem and maybe she’ll see it.
I’m 16 years old and in prison.
Next time she has something to say, I’ll listen!!
Jacob s
A contest entry
- Four years and counting.... by LionessK.
600 points, ended April 30, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Strike my emotions and Join my AP Family by Diggs McGee.
468 points, ended July 20, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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The definition of forced rhyme is intentional rhyme that causes the writer to rearrange the format of sentences in order for the rhyme to work. This poem is a product of forced rhyme. It doesn't sound natural. When read, readers will immediately notice that the sentences are strangely written.
I'll have to remove this as it is not what I'm looking for in the contest. But good luck with your future poetry. -
that is very good. not much of a rhythm but still good. a life lesson piece that should be passed on to those in similar situations.
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A very touching and real write. Your words make me think of a friend of mine.. so it reaches me on a personal level in that way. Thank you for sharing this with me.
keep writing on.
~Kristy -
brave honest words!
Kudos to you Jacob s!
I had to have many lessoned hammered in until I finally got them. It can pay dividends later... a little character can take you a long way. Count on yourself first, appreciate what you have, second chances are golden... lots of good messages here.
I appreciate the sincerity held in your words,
Best of luck to you,
*thumbsup* Kj
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