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I shall never be celebrated



 

 


for I am not beautiful in the form
that launches another over the edge
of common sense
in a tinge of excitement

I am not a temptress with cross-
country legs or
thick in the hips, lean
in the torso

not fabulous, or fantastic;
my hair clings into ropes
as I drive down the highway
with the window down,
cigarette holding on for dear life.

Sometimes I wake to cliches staring
back at me in the mirror,
sleep cuddled in the corners
of my eyes, mascara
rubbed into spikes across
my face and I cringe
as age makes a display between
my brows, time's lips
pressed against my forehead.

I will never be immortal
in poet songs, there shall be
no odes to my radiance,
to my crooked front teeth;
I will never be the heroine
in dime store novels,
or a best seller, but the dusty
dog-eared drama
found in the back of the store
marked down to 75% off
or lost in the dollar bin

for I am not beautiful in the way
that creates art, inspires
with goldenrod and vining flowers;
I am not Helen of Troy or Aphrodite,
Nefertiti, Cleopatra
with her back to the wall--
but now and again, when I smile

the world forgets what I'm not
and smiles back.

 

 

 

 





 

Author notes


writer's block... con't.

Weeeeeeeee!

In a list

A contest entry

tweaking, still... suggestions encouraged.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • dking
    May 2, 2007

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    Just Plain/Beautiful!

    Straightforward examination of beauty/acclaim/self worth. Does anyone really need all that false validation? When you forget it and smile, the world does smile back. Great poem. Writer's block my ass!!


  • Cvillelisa
    April 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply


    Congrats on your silver. I read this poem and decided that I'd go back and hit return the favor to see where it brought me,

    brought me back here! I guess THIS is the poem I need to comment on from you today.

    Argh. I am in an extremely odd place -- my confidence teetering and I have noted you seem to be saying you have writers block (though writing write through it lol, good for you ) ...

    all of that as I lead in to my suggestions which, you will probably not agree with or like, but we both know that is perfectly okay. ( Christ writers have such sensitive egos don't they at times? )

    In my mind, which is a fucked up place to be, there is good writing and there is poetry. Good writing does not mean poetry -- all the time.

    While I completely think this is a very well written piece -- my gut tells me (and believe me, my gut is no one important to listen to at all ) it is too self indulgent for it to be poetry. It pains me to say that but a very wise teacher once said "Lisa you want to be a poet? Why punish us?" And I have been punishing myself and the world ever since trying to figure out what he meant.

    There is but ONE thing I would suggest, consider making the I's a different pronoun. We. Detach a bit and make the poem about Women and not just you. Since the contest is over, I did the substitution for my own learning process (I think the teacher was saying that poetry is about something bigger than I. Even though it is all I -- the I, for me, needs to extend to the We).

    We shall never be celebrated

    for we are not beautiful in the form
    that launches another over the edge
    of common sense
    in a tinge of excitement

    We are not the temptress with cross-
    country legs or
    thick in the hips, lean
    in the torso

    not fabulous, or fantastic;
    our hair clings into ropes
    as we drive down the highway
    with the window down,
    cigarette holding on for dear life.

    We wake to cliches staring
    back at us in the mirror,
    sleep cuddled in the corners
    of our eyes, mascara
    rubbed into spikes across
    our face and we cringe
    as age makes a display between
    our brows, time's lips
    pressed against the forehead.

    We will never be immortal
    in poet songs, there shall be
    no odes to our radiance,
    to our crooked front teeth;
    We will never be the heroine
    in dime store novels,
    or a best seller, (but the dusty
    dog-eared drama
    found in the back of the store
    marked down to 75% off
    or lost in the dollar bin) I'd cut that

    for we are not beautiful in the way
    that creates art, inspires
    with goldenrod and vining flowers;
    Not Helen of Troy or Aphrodite,
    Nefertiti, Cleopatra
    with her back to the wall--
    but now and again, when we smile

    the world forgets what we are not
    and smiles back.



    I'm not keen on the ending -- but but but I won't pound it either.

    And FYI: I disagree, every woman has a bit of all those women in her, it is what makes us Women.

    Yea, as they say, keep writing. I think you are turning some excellent corners. I like the clarity and straightforwardness, I like you brought up those Giant Women of History -- I should go back to the Balcony poem cause I really thought that had some good stuff going for it.

    I've never been to Yellow Springs Ohio but someone told me it was nearly preserved in history as a hippy-like place. Happy Friday

    and again, congrats on a silver during your blockage.

    P.S. One of my poem therapists suggested I write the biggest of piece of shit ever to help me overcome my panic state and it helped. You do not apparently need to do such a thing -- cause even blocked you got it going on.

    Lisa


  • Slyder
    April 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    To mourn for what you aren't can take away from what you are and what you can be. I'll choose to forget what you aren't, and I may even smile first. I really enjoy the melancholy tone and the very real life imagery, a captivating mix.
    Slyder


  • BlackWidow43
    April 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Aw Meli, I loved your ending. It was very pretty. The whole piece was very well written - honestly, I couldn't tell you had writer's block!

    This was sad... but happy... I guess, because despite all that you think you aren't, you can smile and the world can forget for that second...

    very pretty, for talking about ugly, ha.


  • Spfc
    April 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    What a fabulous tribute to unbeauty, and the transforming power of a smile. Powerful.


  • misselaineous
    April 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    you look pretty good from where i am sitting
    you are you and that's all that matters
    a unique and creatively beautiful look at beauty and the meaning of beauty and art and poetry and blah

    beauty is in the eye of the beholder
    i wish my writers block produced poetry like this - a painting with words
    elaine


  • Night Hope gold member
    April 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "for I am not beautiful in the way
    that creates art, inspires
    with goldenrod and vining flowers;
    I am not Helen of Troy or Aphrodite,
    Nefertiti, Cleopatra
    with her back to the wall--"

    Are too. Uhhh huhhh. Yes, M'am. That's you all over & then some. Prettier. Ever seen a pic of those infamous beauties??? Butt-ugly compared to you, Lady. Ehhh, they just had a good agent, is all. Get over yourself, Woman...& if that mirror doesn't quit lyin' to ya, cover it with a veil...be mysterious & lingering...Grand penning, my Friend...but yeahhh...we ALL disagree with ya. Don'tcha just love it??? Wanda


  • Pickleweasel
    April 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful!
    I absolutely loved it.
    And "time's lips..." is simply a beautiful turn of phrase. You have succeeded in writing the perfect ode of the average woman. ^.^

  • FindingFate
    April 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is really good. I mean really, really good stuff. Meli, you never cease to amaze me; yet amaze me over and over again. Love it.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Trellis
    April 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    There's not much I can say except "Outrageous!"

    This is exceptional poetry! You should be very proud of this piece.

    Cris

    . Rewarded 4


  • poet2angels gold member
    April 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    sniff sniff.....

    ANother amazing creation by you....
    But, my dear, I don't agree.....You are and will be celebrated by many...You may not be famous yet, but you could very well be...You are unique as a woman and as a poet, and the best thing is, you don't even know how special you really are....
    You are beautiful inside and OUT...You just don't see yourself the same as everyone else does....

    and When you write, it is classic like the legends you speak of....

    Lynda

    . Rewarded 8


  • LadyUnique silver member
    April 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    absolutely love this big fat no lie love it
    'time's lips pressed against my forehead' had me nodding in agreement... dammit...
    and the end is like saying you're beautiful in your own way.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Rowan gold member
    April 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Loved this.

    Oh, I for one celebrate this hon..I hear you..
    I loved the honesty, the imagery, and the true grit of your poetic character-ness< is that a word..lol..
    Okay, mark me down, and put me in the 90 percent off bin.
    I have a poetic license and I flaunt it.
    I applaud you for this one, it appealed to me.
    Kathleen

    . Rewarded 4

1 - 19 of 19