Why can't I stop shaking,
Why won't it stop,
Blood runs from my head,
I keep hearing a pop.
Its getting closer,
Its outside my door,
I see a dark shade,
Covering the floor.
Black and red blotches,
Are all I can see,
Besides the dark shade,
Coming closer to me.
Its all faded,
It's all grey,
and I hear someone's voice say,
"don't leave me please stay"
Its moving away,
the dark shade on the bed,
The red blotches are gone,
Something is being said.
I can't make it out,
It's too fuzzy to hear,
But whatever it is,
Is becoming clear.
THe pain is to much,
to much to bear,
All I can hear is,
Come on don't you care?
I can hear so much clearer,
But it's all a jumble in my mind,
My sight's coming back to me,
What will I find?
My face feels wet,
I look up and see,
You standing there crying,
Crying over me.
I tell you it's okay,
You say how can that be,
There's a bullet in your head,
Don't you see?
Why can't I stop shaking,
Why won't it stop,
Blood runs from my head,
I keep hearing a pop.
The black shade's on my bed,
The red blotches are returning,
There's this noise in my head
like a bell ringing.
I grip your hand tightly,
Saying don't let me go,
You shake your head furiously,
And cry out no.
No don't leave me,
How could this be,
Why did you do this,
Why can't I see.
I tell him I love him,
and when I'm gone,
Don't miss me,
Just move along.
I tell him,
you are,
the only one I love,
Only now you are so far.
I can no longer hear,
His crying and tears,
All that comes,
are my terrible fears.
I see a bright light,
Clouding my eyes,
I say good bye,
And look up to the sky.
Author notes
option 4, slipknot
A contest entry
- i -- WANT -- DARK!! by Xsafety glassX.
450 points, ended May 9, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Burn, Bite, Glitter, Fight, Cry, 1st600, 2nd300, 3rd150, Enter it by sleepingINblackRain.
1050 points, ended May 1, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A CONTEST OF EVERYTHING by Darc Soul.
490 points, ended May 11, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Not Just Another Teenage Angst/ Love Poem by Logans-Mommy.
600 points, ended May 7, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Death Or Destruction (2) by Klayer.
340 points, ended May 8, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANY THING by serenity silvermoon.
430 points, ended May 10, 2007, 145 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - \rain on me/ [[ .make.tears .fall.from.my.eyes ]] by autumns rising.
1000 points, ended May 18, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me A Poem 2 Make Me Cry... by .
600 points, ended May 19, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give...Me something..Anything..Only gots ONE prize!! by Stripes.
490 points, ended May 25, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - anything take a look by x Bright Eyes x.
575 points, ended June 17, 2007, 124 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Sorry you broke two rules just from looking at this piece. Please read rules.
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Hmm..i like it
a little bit too long for my taste but still its a good write.
Good Luck! -
Certainly a dark and expressive piece of letting go. Thank you for your entry!
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this is nice, alot of reading but worth it so that is always good. good luck
-
the ending needs work, i know its hard to end things sometimes, but this was very very very imaginative and well written. nice job.
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this was a great write and i really enjoyed reading this..your wors were powerful and emotional as well this was great keep writting your talented
~Chrissy~ -
Pure emotion, tragedy. Nice write
-
u spelled moosy wrong but im glad u followed my rulez
anyho, this wuz so cool!!! i didnt think a person could come back from the dead for a breif moment if they just got shot in the head but this wuz cool!!
u get:
FiNaLiStS!!!
thanx for entering -
Really really well written. I did not want to stop reading its so sad kind of made me tear up a bit. This was very creative...verry powerfull...good luck in this contest
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this was a great write..it flowed really well and your words were powerful and emotional as well i enjoyed reading this keep writting your very talented and good luck in the contest
XTashaX -
Dark emotion and so sad.... This is a wonderful write... Your writing is wonderful. Good Luck
~*~ Mystic -
Very dark and sad.....full of painful emotion. You've expressed your feelings very well. Thank you for the entry in my contest.
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