No distances across these countless miles,
Nor cloaked upon the silent shroud of age:
The time bomb clock each scornful god defiles
As ghostly playwright plunders living stage.
Nor warmer underneath the tropic sun
Where waters lap, opaque, ‘neath misted air;
No longer pathway bound towards some one,
The banished dream, now dreamed, is everywhere.
Is everywhere within the changing hours:
The jolting tram, the formal silhouettes
Who tautly march until act, soul, devours
And never think that history soon forgets.
That soon the lichen hides each naming stone
And seedwinds whisper, what, of glory gone.
A contest entry
- Sonnets, sonnets, and more sonnets by RatherImaginative.
1925 points, ended September 8, 2007, 40 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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These are interesting images, implying for me something of people's self-involvement and the transience of flesh. It reads easily, but I feel that I am missing something (again). Best of luck!
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:-) i think that you have it correct, but also that there is the echoes of empire. we get so caught up in our egos that we lose the perspective of how wonderfully small and transient we are. and nature doesn't care for our symbols, however pretty.
the best statement of this that i've ever read is by hugh macdiarmid, called the eemis stane. it's really my idea of high art. hope it's ok to offer it up to you.
have a couple of contests on the go if you have any interest. am not sure how i will be as a judge though, bit nervous....
as ever good to hear from you and thanks. i just sometimes do wish that i could explain myself..
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"Towards" and "history" are the only words that could potentially injure the otherwise excellent meter of this sonnet, but since in American English they are pronounced with varying syllables, I'm not going to worry about it. They just make one pause briefly to check how in the poem they should be pronounced.
I've never visited Hong Kong, but your sonnets speaks of things deeper than it surface beauty, particularly in the 2nd stanza. Most intriguing, it is. Thanks so much for entering my contest! -
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have discovered the pronunciation conundrum myself, in my case regarding american variants. it's written in standard English, at least the scottish variation of that idea!!
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Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
whisper
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Those final two lines are lovely, an excellent sonnet - kudos!
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This reminds me so much.... Well done, I really enjoyed reading it. Keep it up
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A beautiful sonnet. Interesting reflections on a fascinating place which has wxperienced massive change.
I'd love to go there. Thanks for sharing.
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thanks. it was an amazing place and am sure it still is but i think now that it would be too full of ghosts, looked at my village on google earth recently and found it had grown into a big village.
thanks for the comments, it is very kind of you
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This poem has a unique quality.As most do..but something about this I really like.
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Hi, this is very beautiful, I sighed when I reached the end perhaps it reminded me too much of myself,beautiful write, welcome to AP,lol. hugs Di
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