January 22.
today, the last day
in which i shall cease existing
over time, my wings melted
like sugar over fire
while i was flying
over the risk of falling
how ironic is this
how did i get the courage?
today, my birth day
and as well, my death day
sorry mom for my handwriting
I'm on pills, i cant focus
i've ripped this page
away from my diary,
don't cry over my death
i will be born again
from the ashes, like a phoenix
sorry darling, i wish i could change
i wasn't a good lover
because i was too afraid of loosing you
I'm now falling over the cliff
while i pinch myself with this needle
i can see the colors, i can see the light
i can hear the music, i again feel alive
Author notes
slipknot
A contest entry
- .:. Options .:. Come check it out. by SignoraDiDispiacere.
400 points, ended April 11, 2007, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - DEEP, DARK, EMOTIONAL, ANYTHING! by Heavens Child.
425 points, ended April 10, 2007, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Uncliche: Suicide by Synful-symphony.
450 points, ended April 26, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥Sadness♥ by This Doesnt Hurt.
340 points, ended April 22, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark and Depressing #2 by XHollowXEyesX.
750 points, ended June 18, 2007, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - && [D o n ' t] I look pretty d y i n g? by LucyLightning.
500 points, ended May 8, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lots of points by illegalfairy.
1323 points, ended May 22, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Death by J-Lee18m.
1000 points, ended May 17, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Wow, oh my I must say this is wonderful work, I hope you keep it up. Good luck in the contest.
Jordan Lee -
This was very good. It was so full of emotion and flowed so well. I really enjoyed it. This was very good thank you for entering it into the contest.
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wow this is a great write. it is full of so many different emotions...it is amazing how you combined so many 'confessions'to different people and still make it flow beautifully and have the words carry so much power and impact.
great write.
thanks for entering and goodluck -
heya..this was a great write..i really enjoyed reading this..your words were powerful and emotional andi can relate keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest..
~Chrissy~ -
thanks for entering...
this is such a good write...theres so much sadness to it...even though its so full of pain its so beautiful at the same time...goodluck and keep writting...
♥Ashlee
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this was such a sad write..sometimes suicide is the only thing a person can find comfort within..you wrote a beautiful poem..keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest
~Chrissy~ -
Ok, wow. This seemed rather uplifting for a suicide poem. You really did something different with this, and it looked like you actually chose the option to write a suicide note from the happiest person in the world. I loved this image, "over time, my wings melted
like sugar over fire" beautiful metaphor. One thing that confused me a bit was that you were addressing your mother, and then your lover. First thing I thought was "your mother is your lover?" but it does give the piece a more realistic feel, very fragmented and a bit unfocused, but it's very effective. I love it when people change the voice of their poetry to fit what they are writing. Well done!
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I am very happy for you, Congratulations on your first Golden trophy! Well deserved, great entry for the contest
Have a wonderful day, Ken IBT
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thanks! im quite happy myself about finaly getting a golden trophie =]
thanks for the support.
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amasing
I really love your poetry, this write is absoutly amasing. keep up the great work.
keep the ink flowing
~L_D_P~
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Good write
A nice piece of poetry, showing so much emotion and depth
Well written apart from one small mistake in line 8,
'How did I got the courage?'
I hope you don't mind but I think you mean 'get' not 'got'
Hugs
Cherry x
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a wonderful and amazing piece!
i absolutely loved this. i loved the lines:
"over time, my wings melted
like sugar over fire"
i love that. you made it work so well.
great job, and the best of luck in the contest!
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awwww.... that makes me want to cry
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