My inner desire is to be...
Free from the continuing burden
of my soul's carnality.
For I wish to be liberated
from the snares of sin's grip
and be forever emancipated.
Truly, I'm captivated by The Light
that shines eternally into my spirit
and erases my heart's love of Earthly delights.
Fulfillment of my life's emptiness
is only met by a spiritual purpose
with God's call to His Holiness.
Learn more about me and my poetry at:
http://www.squidoo.com/book-isbn-1419650513/
Author notes
"Kate this is for you"
A contest entry
- I hope you've got inspiration - 15 lines or less by DancingRed.
300 points, ended April 9, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - IS there light at the end of the tunnel at last? {NOW OPEN TO ALL...} by Darcs Dove.
955 points, ended September 9, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 45 of 45
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Congragulations on the HM I like the poem it was very welll written even though I am not agreeing with it. Been kicked to much to go there...Thank you for sharing
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This is a very good piece, and I personally can relate to this piece. It was very well written, and captured the emotion very well. I'm glad I read this, and thanks for sharing it.
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Love it, love it, love it!
Awesomely expressed for those of us who are attracted to the Light! How few make that spiritual connection. But the feeling is there, even if unacknowledged, refused, or ignored. I love it. As an ex-nun, my only purpose in life was, and I recognize still is spiritual. You might make the connection from the title to the end, to reach for the light. Otherwise, well done! -
written well
though i dont agree with the sentiments. the light is liberating, not captivating, and the world is Holy being the creation of a just and wise creator, the joys are here to be learned from, just as the sorrows are. If Gods purpose was other than to have us here, then we wouldnt be here would we...materiality does not equal sin, which seems to be the theistic and philosophical point you are making here, which takes us back to the days of the inquisition and mans 'Fall From Grace' or 'original Sin' which is a hellish doctrine we use to condemn our children.
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This is amazing. I absolutely love the word choice, and the flow, and pretty much just everything about it! The first two stanzas are my favorite! This is also a good write because it can apply to so many people for their own reasons.
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The thing that I loved most about this poem is that it is "spiritual" in a way that can cross over through many different faiths. I believe that we all strive to be "free from the continuing burden of (our) souls carnality". Great flow, good word choice. Nicely done!
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Awesome messages.
Thanks for your words. -
I think it's AWESOME!
For me it expresses a total enamoration with what's rewarded by faith, and the peace and completeness that comes from having that faith. Those who've read the bible know that God either wants you to embrace him wholeheartedly or not at all......to "run either hot or cold" for Him........nothing in between. This piece immediately brought that verse to mind for me........and I applaud you for capturing the emotions of a believer.
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I like the whole aura surrounding your work here. Your very well chosen words have quite a drawing affect on the reader and leaves me feeling reluctant to leave the page. Some things you just wish you could take with you!
With a sigh and a great deal of hesitation… I move on. Thank you for sharing your words with me and best wishes to you in all of your endeavors. Keep that quill dipped in ink and ever ready for use. 
♥ Touchof1der -
Sincere sentiment, but faulty
Yes I also think the sentiment expressed is faulty.
It is Light that gives rise to the world of all qualities in expression, including both creatureliness and sexuality. Not in themselves evil, but subjectively made so, through the partial way we reflect them in relativity. Light, Spirit, Love, God is present in all things otherwise they would not exist. All is essentially born of 'Beauty' and Ultimately All is One Reality. Better to desire and find an 'eye' which sees it! Ask for the wisdom to be wise to yourself, especially in what you ask for.
Further, even 'holiness' is a relative concept, if not for 'baseness' again it wouldn't exist to be known. Knowing and Loving go hand in hand.
May your sincere 'hunger' increase you in 'light'! -
Temptation is tough to rebuke. Man is weak and often gives in to body wants and desires, even if he/she knows they are wrong. Like fighting with yourself about doing something that you know is wrong, yet knowing you will do it in the end anyway. Strong message in these lines. Congratulations on winning HM in the contest.
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Congrats on the honorable mention trophy... this was so inspiring and very spiritual. And on top of that it was so well written... nicely done.
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Hm, I think this poem could be longer. That was certainly it's weakest point in my eyes. But I love the line "of my soul's carnality". The entire second stanza, too, is great.
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How utterly sad and depressing to embrace death so you can have a spiritual purpose. But hey, if that works for you then that is groovy. Hope Kate enjoys the poem, it isn't all that bad
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I see I neednt have
left a comment when it was already nailed.... -
I think you have misunderstood...
One's spiritual purpose can only be achieved while alive on this planet. I have no fear of death; when spirit is freed of its flesh (via death), one's spirits goes before God in His throneroom. One has joy living by the Principles of Christ, for we are to be more than conquerors.
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Powerful conceptive poem.
I think the author did a fine job with this poem, it was a bit short and that was a real hinder. I was expecting a bit more from this poem. I did like the format and the great word play here. The emotion is real but little hidden by the lines, I think they could be brought out more with the focus on the subject aka theme. The narrative speaks very well in this poem, almost could feel the tone changing from one verse to another. could be a slightly improved maybe. This is your call. I enjoyed your poem. this is my thoughts. Grim
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Love the title of this piece.
a incorporation of what your soul does long for. Although I see it from a different point of view. I feel its more of the sins against you than the sins of what the world believes...Just my thoughts.
Congratulations on your honorable
Blessings~
~Joy -
A prayer for the right to live a life free of sin and temptation.
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This poem is fulfilling and very powerful when it comes to your deepest wants. Free from sin... that peace and serenity humans look for in their lives. You've penned this piece exceptionally well, and every word is full of truth and beautiful meaning.
Thanks for sharing!
M a r l u x i a
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~oh so pretty~
This is a feeling I've felt often enough as long as you were refering to a desire to be free of sins grip on our lives.
This reveals a desire to be set free and it is a lovely way to reveal such a want. -
It's a good write and a worthy sentiment. ke it from one who's been celibate for more than twenty years there's nothing like the human touch. Happy trails.
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To free ourselves of lifes many burdens is to live free. NOt to inprison yourself with things in life that can catch you easily. Well said, thanks for sharing
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beautiful commitment
I feel the sameway,and there have been days where I become overwhelmed to resist things of the world to think different then family and friends it is not easy at all but I am not able to give up. I am inspired by your poem. thank you
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its good, but not really my thing.
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An excellent poem - we get so caught up in the worldly stuff, and forget about God. Liked this a lot.
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this has a very uplifting message to it. I thank you for entering my contest, and for giving me permission to print this poem for my friend.
good luck. -
Amen.. beautiful and true.
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good
i liked this, its an interesting topic. also, your rhyme scheme helped the poem flow together better. good work. -
a beautiful poem which reveals a profound message and invites us to realize that no lasting happiness can be found in satisfying worldly desires ... chocolate is nice, but we may suffer if we don't get any more of it or if we eat too much of it ... and then ? once it's down our throat, the pleasure gained from its taste is gone ... and we need more ... likewise, this works for all substitutes for true joy ...
and one we know it, we won't trade it for anything less ...
thank you for sharing,
maa
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I like the clear summing up of the desire/quest you undertake in the first stanza.
In the second stanza it almost repeats the idea of the first, but not as strongly (for me).
The third stanza is lovely. Keeping focus on the Light gives clarity in our lives.
The first line of the last stanza seems a little akward. I'm not sure if 'fulfillment of...emptiness' is actually seeking emptiness, or seeking to fill it up[because of the wording, not that I didn't get what you meant].
I would almost like to see you take another stanza to explain more about the burdens of carnality and snares of sin, or maybe why the darkness is inviting in its own treacherous way, so that there is greater contrast when you arrive at that lovely third stanza.
Overall, I enjoyed your poem
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I LOVE it. It characterizes a lot of my emotions and has an artistic flow to it. I can tell it comes from your heart because I feel the same way.
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Very Inspiring and Uplifting!!!!!!
Your poem is very inspiring. To be free from the shackles of the worldly pleasures is one of the greatest wishes of mankind. Yet those pleasures are the strongest temptations man has to resist. The Heavenly forces are always there ready to embrace us but it is we who are trapped in the whirlpool of transitory pleasures. I really enjoyed reading your poem. Thanks for sharing. Would you mind reading one of my poems "Standing on the Edge of Universe" http://allpoetry.com/poem/2334123 I would appreciate your comments. -
Wow! A meaningful piece of poetry, shining with the wisdom of thought. Plus, the way you have executed it is brilliant!! Way to go.....
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Amen!
This is well written, great use of words, flows like water and is the awesome truth. I can so relate. Thanks for sharing this and many blessings to you, FAH
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This is nice, I don't really understand what you're talking about, but your words are sweet and they flow together nicely. I also liked your choice of vocabulary. Thanks for writing and sharing. <3 Nikki
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i to wish to be free of this earth form
and live in spirt with god
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Through heavens light
Through heavens light you will find no shadows for with his light the soul flies and the form is left behind therefore the soul with wings will remain without a shadow forever more -
pretty good
i'm really not into religous poetry but this was still pretty good...
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you need no words
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Wow, such a christian perspective of erasing (forgiving) one's sins of Earthly inpurities. Wonderful way to describe this. I also light the image of light hiting someone, like in the movies, when someone talks to God or is touched by heaven, or even passes into heaven, wonderful use of imagery here. Last the fulfillment of an empty life through religion, they say this is the only way to find true enlightenment of a higher order (a psychological perspective of the orders of enlightenment).
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You seem to like capital letters a lot. My sympathy that you regard your "soul" to have too much "carnality". I feel we should all enjoy the carnal side of our nature whilst we can: after all we breathe through the grass for a long, long time post mortem. And then there's NOTHING, just emptiness and silence. Ah well.
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great!
I am very glad I have checked in to AP today. All who read your poems would receive a blessing, and I thank you! Please keep writing!
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A beautiful poem of spiritual yearning, with a great vocabulary to enhance the message. I love 'carnality' and 'emancipated'. Thanks for entering.
DancingRed.
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Great poem of inspiration! To let go of this earth and imbrace Gods Holyness! When we do that Awesome things can happen!
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