she had her fifteen minutes--
it was etched in the hobo patches
where every square inch was rounded
to perfection,
branded on the seams of her thighs
in a roundabout spiel of
Sharpies
& many a
syncopated stroke
((a-one, a-two, a-three.))
if she were to flit through the
alleyways like the scores of
plastic bags -- a couple hundred
repetitions of "THANK YOU"
screened on her skin --
would you forget her?
if she were to render herself
jaded, a flask that flavors
herself with envy,
would you question
how
the brain registers fame?
Author notes
The title is named after a song, from a band that I used to love but have grown to hate...they're washed-up primadonnas, methinks!
Very experimental.
A contest entry
- no options- no way out: APRIL by duke of balabamas.
1560 points, ended May 16, 2007, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
...
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
13 years old and all of this talent. Fantastic poem.
-
oooooh i love this! wonderfully clever lines you have here!
if she were to flit through the
alleyways like the scores of
plastic bags -- a couple hundred
repetitions of "THANK YOU"
screened on her skin --
that gave me gooseflesh o.0
very vivid and i enjoyed reading this.
you really do belong on the finalists
<3
-
oh cool. i like this, and i didnt realize it was in the contest. let me look it over again. (looks). washed up or not, that band inspired one hell of a write. syncopated is a top 15 word of mine and it may be swaying my opinion, but im gonna put it in the finals for now. i love the plastic bag image too.
-
Excellent write you have here. My favorite lines are "branded on the seams of her thighs" and "if she were to render herself jaded, a flask that flavors herself with envy"
The strongest things about this are 1. the way you transition from idea to idea, 2. the message it conveys, and 3. the way the lines sit with you afterwards.
-
Wonderful
I really liked the background choice to go with your wonderful poem. Really is great. Good luck iin the contest.
-
-
thank you for your feedback, i am honored to hear it from you.
N
-
-
You're welcome.
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
