I will always remember the day when we sat on the little boat under the cresant moon,
The wimdy breeze blowing soflty,
hearing the whisper its calls our name,
That was the night we fell in love,
there was no other like you,
but now your far away under a moon in war,
yes you will bring peace to us with the red white and blue flag,
But i will always miss you,
i'm waiting for you now in our house in the grassy and blue velvet sky,
but i got the letter and i love you dear,
and for every reason i long for you to be near.
A contest entry
- Who can claim my heart? by Wrench-X.
1700 points, ended May 5, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 14 and Under: Form Poetry by Max Ritvo.
375 points, ended April 21, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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this was wonderful, the kind of abstract imagry was really neat and unique. my favorite part was :
But i will always miss you,
i'm waiting for you now in our house in the grassy and blue velvet sky,
i think the only akward part was how the last two lines ryhmed and the other lines didn't...but thats ok because the last lines were very powerful. good work!
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thanks
i never really took to much time on it and im only 11 and had no insperation so i dont know where i got the poem from lol so thanks anyways but even if otheres say they dont like it i dont care thats just the kinda person i am well thankyou for the complement/comment well bye.and hav a nice day
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