Searching for something concrete to hold onto,
looking for a way to begin,
creativity reaching a new level of hopelessness,
on the outside looking in.
Who is that man and that woman,
what will happen to their little child?
Two years later they're apart now,
heaven knows why one had filed.
Staring through these foggy windows,
watching each one go their ways,
feeling detached from these visions,
deeper than the deepest haze.
The soul cries loudly, seeing nothing left that's firm,
finding no one can be trusted,
what is life except a twisting, turning maze,
temporary gladness here before the hourglass rusted.
Watch the little child grow, repeat,
the mistakes that they had made,
see frustration etched in every corner,
all around that's been betrayed.
Never ending cycle ever filled with such regret,
all I want to know is when,
will this cycle find its stopping point,
on the outside, looking in...
looking for a way to begin,
creativity reaching a new level of hopelessness,
on the outside looking in.
Who is that man and that woman,
what will happen to their little child?
Two years later they're apart now,
heaven knows why one had filed.
Staring through these foggy windows,
watching each one go their ways,
feeling detached from these visions,
deeper than the deepest haze.
The soul cries loudly, seeing nothing left that's firm,
finding no one can be trusted,
what is life except a twisting, turning maze,
temporary gladness here before the hourglass rusted.
Watch the little child grow, repeat,
the mistakes that they had made,
see frustration etched in every corner,
all around that's been betrayed.
Never ending cycle ever filled with such regret,
all I want to know is when,
will this cycle find its stopping point,
on the outside, looking in...
Author notes
This is about how it feels to know what it means to be apart from everyone, observing the workings of life and pondering what it can mean. There is far too much relating to it to post here, maybe in a series.
A contest entry
- Make Me Feel Dark by Xsafety glassX.
375 points, ended April 29, 2007, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - &&; through the hour glass, she said "hello." by animated lies.
800 points, ended April 15, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A TRIBUTE TO RHYME by Heavens Child.
425 points, ended April 11, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~On The Edge~ by Frozentearz.
525 points, ended April 19, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - i want to know your gothic side by militsu.
300 points, ended April 12, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - please understand me now by forced perfection.
450 points, ended May 6, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Gonna Wannna Use Those Unlimited Entries by TWiSTEDxCUPCAKE.
700 points, ended April 22, 2007, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pain, misery, darkness and death by Beautyfull-x-Angel.
450 points, ended April 13, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options for Everyone by Tears and Raine.
450 points, ended May 18, 2007, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Original Tears by I-Am-Custard.
600 points, ended April 22, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you relate this to?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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hey
Sorry I judged this contest so late. I had a million and one things to do.
It certainly is one of the more original poems, too bad I don’t really see how it fits in my contest, though I appreciate you letting me read this.
Thank you for entering my contest.
Love & Peace
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Great poem... thanks for sharing this thought provoking piece with us and best wishes in the contest!
Frogz~ -
This isn't.. personal enough, it's tragedy from a distance and so I find I don't care enough for the characters involved. The rhyme though, was reasonable well done. Thank you for entering.
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It's a gorgeous poem. Thanks for entering and good luck.
~Raine~ -
amazing poem i have felt this way many a times thankyou and good luck
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Not sure if this is about being on the edge or the reality of life seen through someone's eyes,
either way it is full of some sad parts of life,
Thanks for joining
Warm thoughts
Frozentearz -
wow! this was a great poem and i can really relate to what you are saying and feeling in this poem..your words hit close to home for me..keep writting the flow was smooth and your talented..good luck in the contest
~Chrissy~
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Please add which option you've chosen into the author's note and then I will re-evaluate this entry. Thank you.
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my favorite part wuz the ending line...that wuz a great poem and thanx for entering my contest
i have to give u offline claps cuz im all out of the clappy dudes but again thanx for entering my contest
1 - 9 of 9









