I died a death there
Stuck - alone
In a mire of blood and pain
Each torn and ragged breath
That passed my lips was agony
And whispered softly,
Desperately, to darkness
"Take me"
Trapped in a prison -
Where life was long forgotten,
Withered like an old rose.
Only the thorns left
Cutting into fresh skin
Bringing blood on request
My 'proof of life'
I longed for the silence
Brought by the night
When my torn and broken heart
Could weep - crying for salvation!
A saviour - anyone who would listen
Because I could not, would not
See a way out
So I languished in my black night
My self imposed prison cell
And I cut - to bleed (to live)
And writhe on the floor in pain
(sweet pain - a feeling!)
Unable to breathe,
Unable to pick up my pieces
Until you came and pointed out my light.
Author notes
Option 2 - wordbank
Dedicated to those who pushed me that extra bit - because I did not appreciate it at the time! Thank you.
"My immortal soul lives forever"
A contest entry
- Options- AND LOTS OF THEM!!! by Darkened Seraph.
825 points, ended April 16, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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thats a really intersting use of the wordbank, I like the description and the emotions which have been put into the poem, it shows that you have put a lot of thought into this poem the ending to this poem is excellent its a fantastic line to end it with, well done and good luck in the contest
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I really liked this, from the first line. The way each line explained a little more the line before, and added something more to the poem. It was very relatable; how for most of the poem it seemed like it would be impossible to escape from the prison, but in the end it's as simple as letting someone else point something out. (It's a shame how many problems can be solved that way & no one realizes it.)
The image of blood as life & feeling was great, too, and really stood out.
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