Forced to reverie by the stills,
he finds that it is easier to portray his own reality
in the near-black of his dark cave
than it is behind the shutter;
walking in the light,
reality is right there,
so close,
tangible but untouchable,
while in the darkroom,
it is spread flat before him
and a single drop of a chemical
can change reality forever.
Author notes
The photographer strikes again.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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the photographer is our guide through life
As much as I like the photographer, I feel that I like the previous posts a little more, because, quite bluntly put, you arent hiding behind anything in them. I love personal poems, though. Its a quirk =)
However, I think the photographer is a great little outlook on life--he sees, he snaps, and he develops, much like life itself. You could do so many things with this character.
This is short, so you just right into the essence. I really love the last line of the second stanza...its really strong, really memorable. Also, the whole last stanza is firm, and an absolutely stunning note to end on. It's got layers, different aspects of reality and of life and memory. I like how there are multiple ways of interpretation--someone could relate, or try to fit an event into it.
Now, I havent mentioned the first stanza till now on purpose. It's an opener, but also, the first line really envelopes the mind. It reminds me of looking at lines of pictures, scattered on a table, maybe, or flipping through old photos casually. The image is so clear, it feels like something from the movies. I love the choice of the word "reverie"--it's perfect. I think it captures exactly what you wanted.
If you were to add to the poem, there would only be a few suggestions. You could change the word "darkroom" to something more descriptive, a definition instead of the exact word, in the last stanza. Or you could add a line or two in the second, but otherwise, I'd say this poem is pretty finished, and very well done.
Great job, Ross!
~blessings~
~rora
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Wow. I love you infinitely!
As far as the first stanza goes...maybe a reference to "the near-black of his cave," or "the near-black of his isolation," something to that effect? Is that what you mean? -
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yes, both of those would work perfectly. I think I like the word "isolation", but "cave" works best, because his darkroom is so much like a cave to him. It seems primal, much like his darkroom--it's where he lives, it's where he breathes, and without it a photographer is nothing.
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The line now reads "in the near-black of his deep dark cave". What do you think of that? Does it read well?
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I like it. I think it works really well. It gives a really good image.
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