your intentions
murmur their motivations
caressing my intuition
you've exhaunsted my final resources
combating all self-control
I weaken but endure
reason and awkwardness flood my mind
attempting to take hold
one by one you strip my excuses away
shredding them to pieces
fires burning in once dormant eyes
pulses racing
catching my breath, holding it captive
such a sweet servitude
at your feet I surrender,
a diety of sorts
saving my soul
releasing me into the burning sulfer
my eternal reward
our shared connection electrified...
a single thread holds us back
a thought before the jump
a kiss before the plunge
over the edge and no turning back
starcrossed as ever...
hold tight Romeo, and toss away the dagger
for this is our Genesis
Author notes
I've really been into these free form poems...but they are all so different. I tried to keep this one PG...it could have gone so many directions... thanks for the read!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Umn... well... eh...
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misspelling
you messed up when you tried to spell the word "exhausted" in the very beginning. Also the lack of capitolization and the seeming like the poem was a run-on almost that would never end kind of turned me off. And although the poem itself had a lot of good imagery, frankly I have seen better from you. -
I loved the images conjured. So dark and full of love, but then again isn't Love the darkest capture of all?
Anyhoo...the background's quite interesting as well. I really liked the last stanza in particular. It leaves the poem on a sort of high note.
Kepp writing these free form things. It takes a real talent to master them and you seem to have found the key
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fires burning in once dormant eyes
pulses racing
catching my breath, holding it cpative
such a sweet servantude
I love it all my child. in this last line, did you mean servitude? anyway, that's my favorite stanza and I'm so happy to see you writing for us again.
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thanks for that...captive was all crazy too. I'm happy I'm writing too, and I'm also happy that you seem to be sticking around. thanks for the comment!!!
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Hmm..
This is very good!
Very powerful.
I love the lines :
one by one you strip my excuses away
shredding them to pieces
You are right, this poem certainly could have gone in many directions! But I think you chose the right one =]
Well done!! This is a fantastic poem.
Bleeding Glitter xX
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