my body shivers full of tears
holding in the pain you've created
letting it out without any fears
the soft kiss was our bliss
but vanished away in just that kiss
i'ts longing and internal desire
can i have you?
let me feel your breast close to mine
your heart beating through mine
one body, one soul yet seperated by denial
you say goodbye
i say dont stop hugging me
i'll blame myeself
for what i've done
but i cant blame myself
because i've done what my heart told me to do
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
that's sad! My question would be, did this come about because he did something mean? what was teh cause of the breaking?
-
I like this poem It is so full of emotion. This tugs at the heart like a death tugs at it also and in a very real sense it is like a death. Thank you for sharing this with us
-
Saying "goodbye" to anyone that has any measure of meaning or impact on your life is such a hard thing to do. I think you have captured that idea well here. Great thoughts flow here!
♥ Touchof1der
-
I liked this poem, I think that you did a great job with the flow of this poem. You are a great writer and I think that you should keep up your awesome writing.
~Alix -
im totally aware of that this is not my best poem. nevertheless, i like to share even if you think its not that good
-
Love is in the air, after all it is spring...hard to love someone when things are in the way...lovely words of love lost or long distance..thanks for sharing
-
I don't like how you used kiss two lines in a row. I liked most of it, but the last verse was a little patchy, I would say work on that a little more.
-
This is good. A little rough in some parts but overall I liked it.
Love always,
~GC -
i did not do the hurting.. she did.. see i was very close to her and then i started kissing her knowing that she has a friend and knowing that this could be the last kiss. but i took the chance because i wanted it and i thought this could be it.
sadly it did not work out (yet).. im still on it
shes kinda undicided between me and her boyfried which totally drives me crazy.
one body, one soul yet seperated by denial
thats the way i think about us. she does the same but she does not realize that i am the one shes supposed to be with.
i hope it helped you understanding i was drunk and desperate when i wrote this piece 
-
Its a beautiful poem but ill really have to read it over and over to get the meaning that you have wanted this poem to have.. Well nice poem
-
Left me wondering . .
This piece left me wondering . . . did you do the hurting, or did the other do the hurting? You've done what your heart told you to do. Is this regret, or satisfaction? I like the line, "one body, on soul yet separated by denial". Lots of conflict in this poem.
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
