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Colourless Existance

I am gray like
Dirty washing up water
Or day old snow;
Used, dirty, unwanted am I.

I am pale like
Sun faded paintings
Or shed, unnecessary skin;
Damaged beyond repair am I.

I am transparant like
Unseen poisenous gas
Or an unnoticed window;
Invisible, unneeded am I.

I am blank like
An empty canvas
Or untouched clay
But no artist am I.

Author notes

option 3 - befie

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • ThnxsForTheMmrs-x-
    April 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    OMG this is really good. I expecially like the comparisons to yourself and everything unwanted, dirty, or unclean.
    My fave lines are,

    "I am blank like
    An empty canvas
    Or untouched clay
    But no artist am I. "

    i also like how at the end of your lines you write, AM I.
    it is very creative and well understand when read, your ideas stand out and is easy to read.


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    April 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    BEAUTIFUL BUT SAD

    your words touch a heart string from deep insideI am blank like An empty canvas Or untouched clay But no artist am I...Your words are not true for you are a master of artist of words This is very good!!


  • D-niecee
    April 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very nice i liked the metaphors that you used it helped to paint a wonderful picture. It flowed nicely i really enjoyed reading


  • bigXfatXemo
    April 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Oh!

    Just read the author box (it's otherwise hidden form me who has written this) Didn't realise it was you!!! Well done! As I said, loved it!! I feel slightly bias now for being all possitive, but it really was a stunning write =]
    xXx


  • bigXfatXemo
    April 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Firstly, have to say I absolutely loved the title of this one, really caught my attention, and thankyou for submitting a fresh piece of work, tis great knowing this is specific to the contest.

    This is beautiful, I love the actual colours you've chosen, especially 'blank' and 'transparent'... it's really thinking outside the box. I loveed the comparisons my favourite being 'unnecessary skin'.... says so much.

    Most people choosing this option haven't really stuck to what I asked for very well, but this is beautiful. Loved it. Thanks for entering and good luck =]

    Frankie xXx

1 - 5 of 5