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Flies

I there's a fly on my arm.
should i kill it, though
it annoys me, should i kill it though
it tickles me?  lover, what tickles
you, what annoys you?
let me be that fly,
one small curse biting
your rounded neck.

II i'll be late for supper,
flies are abundant
in the barn, cows' tails
whip them, cats chase them,
musically.

III sleep, dream of heavenly
flies--which is a contradiction;
god's playthings asking questions,
not meaning anything.  dream of heaven.
flies in atmospheres beyond
shuttered windows are dead.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • positive anarchy
    April 8, 2007

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    The idea was orignal, whimsical and musical in parts even. I like how you divided it into roman numerals...just add more space or a period between that and the stanzas so the reader is not confused. My favorite line was "sleep, dream of heavenly
    flies--which is a contradiction;" and how you went on to explain why. It leaves the reader with no doubt about the statement, just a content feeling. I love how you used flies...how orignal an idea. The second stanza is held only loosely to the first through the topic of flies, but I guess it fits. A continued metaphor of flies like bothers would be more interesting. Still, a great read!
    ~Hippie