You were my role model.
You stood beside.
You helped me push through.
You told me the truth.
We spent so much time together.
We shared secrets.
We laughed with each other.
We knew each other better than anyone else.
But now you're leaving me.
But now I'll never see you again.
But now your pulse is growing fainter.
But now I'm crying for you.
Thank you for all that you gave me.
Thank you for letting me lean on you.
Thank you for helping me to find myself.
Thank you for letting me say goodbye.
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Author notes
This is a mix of something from a show and something that happened in real life. What do think of the flat line at the end?
A contest entry
- Its my BIRTHDAY soon and I want GREATNESS!!! by AureateCorona.
700 points, ended April 10, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tears of Goodbye by Abstract Image.
490 points, ended April 9, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - DEEP, DARK, EMOTIONAL, ANYTHING! by Heavens Child.
425 points, ended April 10, 2007, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Very Best #2 (pre-writes allowed) by Dark Whispers.
415 points, ended April 18, 2007, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - &&; this one is for anything. by animated lies.
850 points, ended April 27, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - By Invite Only by Heavens Child.
550 points, ended May 2, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think.
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I loved all of it buddyboy. you know i do. you rock so hard
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This is a great piece... it's a painful thing to have to say goodbye to someone we love, especially when they have had such a deep impact on our lives. But you've put the emotions into words in a very raw and real way. Great job. Thans for the entry in my contest.
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hey this is a great poem.i love the flat line at the bottom
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Definitely full of emotion. I would have never known that would be a flat line at the end unless you had said it... Interesting although a variety of words could have been used in this. Thank you for entering my contest.
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Aww so sad its really hard to lose someone that is close to you..I am so sorry...this poem had such great emotions and powerfull words I wish you the best of luch...take care!
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This was an interesting poem about suicide, not as cliche as other poems are. great write thanks for entering.
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Indeed suicide is bad.... this was interesting and unique. Thanks for adding it to the contest... good message here and I also learned a new word! Thanks for entering and best wishes,
Frogz~
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wow
nice I like it. sweet, sad, and yet kinda leaves you feeling like its "good bye" but not in a bad way.
sorry if that don't make sense.
It was a really nice write, a little on the sad side. -
dang, ur good, I like how u did ur poem. Nice work.
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T_T nuff said. I loved it Good luck
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wow
the flat line at the end, to me, signifies the ending of a heartbeat which goes along with the whole theme of this poem of how you're saying goodbye to someone you love and trust. This poem almost brought me to tears, no lie. This is probably one of your most powerful and deepest peices and i would give you 100 applauses if i could, but i cant. Words can not even express how much this poem has affected me.
Amazing!!!!!!!
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Omigsh. It was short, but it literally brought me to tears. (Well, you probably don't find that suprising, but poetry hardly ever does that) You've penned something powerful here, my friend. The last line...Wow. The flat line...I wouldn't have known what that was had you not put it in my author's comments. I love the repetition of the beginning word of each line in the stanzas (you, we, but, thank) My only suggestion...'roll model' is spelled 'role model.' This is probably my favorite by you...no, no doubt it's my favorite by you. You should totally enter it in a contest.
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Thanks, whoops (about the model)
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