Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Lost In My Mind

As I sit down
to go to bed,
thoughts start screaming
in my head.

Of jumping off buildings,
of shooting a gun,
all thoughts of what
I have seen done.

Suicide is nothing
pleasant to see,
I seem to be
in my memories.

I do hate to watch
as they all die,
seeing they're lives
pass me by.

I wake up on
this pitiful day
to jump high off
and die in dismay.

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • whatever girl
    April 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    oh this poem is sad....but this line is scary
    Of jumping off buildings,
    of shooting a gun,


  • Second Dance Reborn
    April 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Solemn aned sad, just the way you do it. Again, not a bad piece of poetry. I really can't say much more than that 'cause I've said a good bit of it already. Your rhyme scheme was a lot better than what I'm used to, so that's a great improvement. It is short, but that's just a personal preference.

    Good job!

    Much Luck,
    Silently Raining


  • kim5519
    April 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Loved it. I seriously did. Shows a lot of emotion even though its short.

1 - 6 of 6