in the brightness of this sphere
the phenomenon of love abides
no one here will shed a tear
life will flow as gentle tides
moonlight of this world will shine
with rising sun at eventide
watch now as these two combine
careful now they could collide
walking now on glistening shore
surf not safe for us to hold
wonder what was here before
oh the stories that could be told
was it war that formed this place
could it have been an evil grace
leaving all in such disgrace
beautiful horror in it’s embrace
Author notes
Troyias
In a list
A contest entry
- The Random Rounds - Round 1 by Frodofan.
408 points, ended April 18, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites by February Moon.
1750 points, ended July 31, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Beautiful rhyme and flow. This piece is totally flawless. I love it! Thank you so much for entering, and good luck to you!
Chelsea
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Title - 7
Style - 7
Form - 7
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 7
Originality - 8
Reaction - 6
Rules - 10
Makes sense - 8
Enjoyable -8
Total - 78 -
Title - 8
Style - 8
Form - 8
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 8
Originality - 7
Reaction - 8
Rules - 10
Makes sense - 8
Enjoyable - 9
Total: 84
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Clash of the Night by troyias
Title - 9
Style - 8
Form - 8
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 7
Originality - 8
Reaction - 8
Rules - 10
Makes sense - 8
Enjoyable - 9
total 85 -
moonlight of this world will shine
with rising sun at eventide
watch now as these two combine
careful now they could collide
How impressive and vivid ur work is....wonderful and well penned verses. Loved ur pic as well. Relaxing, inviting and flows well w/ ease. -theQueen"
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Clash of the Night by troyias
Title - 9
Style - 7
Form - 7
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 8
Originality - 7
Reaction - 8
Rules - 10
Makes sense - 8
Enjoyable - 8
total- 82 -
Title - 8
Style - 9
Form - 8
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 8
Originality - 8
Reaction - 8
Rules - 10*
Makes sense - 10
Enjoyable - 8
total: 87 -
Beautiful!
Loved this piece penned my Friend
and also the rhyme
Beautifully done~~
I picked the plantation one
Best wishes to You in the contest
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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The 4th to last line. Did you mean "that?"
Nicely done. I thought the last line of stanza three was a little off flow-wise. Don't forget to put your name in your author notes, but let me guess..... troyias?
Nicely done.
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I have to agree WOW! The flow and rhyme, the thoughts, everything is just awesome. Best of luck to you in the contest.
Jeannie
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'was it war the formed this place
could it have been an evil grace
leaving all in such disgrace
beautiful horror in it’s embrace' Wow, very impressive writing here. Lveo the pic and the background as well! Good luck in your contest. ~Sie
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wow is all I can say. Wonderful piece of poetry. Good luck in the contest.
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