I spit the rhymes in my mind
for every verse makes sense
in contempt of the drift
from the world in demise.
I don't hate, I aggravate
my intentions of recollections
Free my mind from the hurt
in which my struggles are drawn.
Visualize for all who had been victimized
spread the love and the truth in your heart
break loose from the shackles of your life
don't criticize, do realize...
In time the world would be outta rhyme
this is a shout out and a break out
so lend me your ears to overcome all your fears
This isn't lyrical, just subliminal
yet, critical for all who standup
for the light in the shadow of fear.
I ain't cynical, i just reprezent the
So-Cal
Word out...
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This was very original, as someone else mentioned. I hate how there is this idea that poetry needs to be standardized. I really liked: "This isn't lyrical, just subliminal".
I agree that you should ignore the comments about not using slang. The idea of that (regulating what words you can or can't use in poetry) is ridiculous.
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Nice freestyle dawg...Rap uses slang and ignore them peeps who are refering to spell-check as a friend...This is rap...Peace
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i quite like the slang well done its nice to be different thumbs up xx
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Thumbs down
Wack
Also, please never end with word out.
I've never even seen that said before. -
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not everything in life is the same. but , i appreciate the comments tho. Wack or not
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doin good
ignore the person who says slang is 'not used' in poetry, there is no such thing as not using words, thats like telling an artist u shd neva use black. this sounds like it wud work well as a verse of rap, but feel on paper the rhythm is pretty loose, however, i like the fact u havnt stuck 2 cliche metaphors, this is the freshest poetry iv read on here so far. UP the forward thinkin! safe -
I feel this would be better if you avoided slang words like "outta" as these are not used in poetry. Also spell-check is your friend - it would have highlighted that as an error and it would have also pointed out "aggrevate" and "standup". Best of luck for the future.
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don't believe the hype
rap is a slang, rappers changes the spelling of words too. it's a free verse and not your conventional poetry.
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yo yo yo
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critical
pretty tight rhymes man. breakin loose from the shackles of life. good message. nice to hear somebody rappin about somthin other than rims. haha
peace -
nice this had clever flow loving the meter and everything really good.
the message too. I'm feelin dis
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