"untitled"
By: Matthew N. O'Meara
he came up to me wearing typical
with stereotype on his breath
but i'm not one to judge
(not one to care much either)
she came up to him wearing typical
with stereotype on her breath
he was one to judge
and my eyes were right on cue
"yo," he said, "what's up"
to me, but it reeked of formality
I spoke not, actions yell loud enough
as if to humiliate, he laughed
he knew, she knew
yes, I spoke it in my eyes
not proudly, but unashamed
(not one to care much either)
his next formality lingered in the air
the smell wafted my way
confusion, with a hint of discontent
her first formality lingered in the air
the smell wafted my way
curiosity, with a hint of disbelief
and my eyes were right on cue
so his stare challenged them
as his hand squeezed her backside
her gasp noted a playful sort of
pleasure, in the sense that I was the game
"what's wrong with you," he implied
while he questioned my sexuality
it was my turn to laugh
she knew the answer
her amused smile told me so
as did her finger circling her breast
he whispered in her ear
she giggled something wicked
before pulling off her own shirt
and approaching me
"he's not my boyfriend you know,"
she whispered into my ear
the bra disappeared with another step
my body yawned
"tell me this doesn't turn you on,"
she spoke of her own wont
"fuck her," he insisted, "lose it"
he shifted his legs and stifled a laugh
she leaned in and ran her tongue
up the length of my neck,
before unzipping her pants
my body yawned but
my eyes were right on cue
"tell me this doesn't turn you on,"
she spoke of her own angst
my head instinctively shook
left to right, twice
our eyes met for the first time
mine said "fuck off" before
I stopped her hand from exploring
naturally speaking, not one for invasion
(not one to care much either)
Author notes
I purposefully kept everything that should normally be capitalized uncapitalized. Likewise, I'm purposefully refusing to title this piece: it's to remain "untitled".
It's another different style from my hand, unlike anything else I've written up to this point (so, my theory still stands: I can't write in the same style twice).
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Loved this piece, the style is ace you should definately write more like this, push it even more. The content was great, loved the sleazy imagery, gave a good impression of the atmosphere you wanted to create. 'wearing typical stereotype on his breath' a breath of fresh air I say.
wonderful!
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captivating, you held my interest. "wearing typical" my favorite line, it says everything in those two words. Wonderful Write, fantastic style
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Wow very interesting. I found the style to be unique and the overall format was great as well. I like how you used your words in the poem and describing things. It made me understand where your thoughts came from and relate in a sense. I loved the poem overall and I would give it a 9......out of 10. 1 being the poorest and of course ten being the highest.....keep on writing and i will be sure to keep checking more of your work out.
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i like this a lot. im too tired to think of an insightful response to this poem, but im awake enough to know its a great one.
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I like it. Couldnt stop reading it!
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the games people people play...varying perspectives about some situation...any situation for that matter...life's challenges, and how one deals with it... like how one's moods vary in similar situations...yeah...
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I like this
It makes me thing of how women will use themselves to get what they want, even if it is (just a rise)...and how men fall all over themselves when this happens as if they have never seen a female before."our eyes met for the first time mine said fuck off" I like this...it shows that the vanity of thinking u can get what ever u want just because you are a women,is not always the case....could be wrong, but this is what I got from it!
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I stopped her hand from exploring
naturally speaking, not one for invasion
(not one to care much either)
Welll you made me to think about the content and the beauty inter touched with each other..this is an intriguing piece...It seems that you have taken control of the time in your hands and moving accordingly and this is a magical walk by your poetry here..a great experience is here describing the riddles of the love here in so simple poetic
journey here..The pace and the immages of the expressions attracts the readers because of its mysterious feel which is a strength of this amazing poem..well done..
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You definately portrayed a very interesting situation. The situation was very in your face yet you dont really care- Well, it will tell this world something. N like the person below me I noticed a bit of Cummings in here as well.
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There is nothing wrong with not writing in the same style twice ... it is your poetry to do what you wish with it ... it is your words ... and your way ... no one can tell you different ... I personally adored this write ... your usage of words so powerful ... and so full of emotion ... you have penned a dark yet beautiful write here ... beautiful in it's own way ... You have done a wonderful job ... keep writing poet ... and I will continue to write ... Much Love ... Sparkeh
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I really liked your poem. It seems to me a microcosm of a social event that's also a telescope pointed outward to a
larger but entirely similar universe. It is definitely an original, but is there a nod to E.E. Cummings here? I love the phrasing,the first stanza is great. The entire poem shows inventive use of language. It's interesting how the woman in the poem reveals more about her own emotions, attitudes, and insecurities than is evinced by her need for sexual conquest. i.e.'Tell me this doesn't turn you on,' "she spoke of her own angst." There is a very nice sense of flow from a wording that is never repetitious, but seems to reveal more with each slightly changing variation. -
still an exelent write second time of reading, as for not writing in the same style twice ..i love your versitility,one of the signs of a good writer
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You are such an original and creative writer. You try new and different ideas and produce incredible writes. This is awesome. Very enjoyable read. Well done.
Jeannie
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Excellent and slap society in the face while ya at it...good job....
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This is one of those times when you're inclined to add syllables to a word like "damn" to emphasize the need for saying the word...
Impressive in its originality, and the placement of repeated lines, etc.
I love it, the topics you pick are always fantastic, and you always spin them a different way.
-Allura
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love it! it flows really nice and i like the story you were telling. great job! lol...i think you can write in this same style again. you just have to find a topic that suits you.
<3 Jenerali -
i like that even though it was thrown in your face you still didnt care... well done on a fantastic write
cheers
Jen -
i absolutely loved this write, exelent work, a very deep write and yet at the same time very *in your face* love it!
this write is so intense it just gave up, laid back real casual and let the mind take over
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I like it and I like how you played society in this write matty! You are awesome!
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